“Who we become is much more than how we look. But how we look is highly influenced by who we have become. Our habits shape us-in every way.”

My thoughts on Beauty, Injectables, and Aging Well

Hello Beautiful,

What is beauty and how, exactly, do we age well?

As we live longer and have more options to alter our faces and bodies with surgeries and injections, many women feel a mix of excitement and apprehension about the menu of procedures available to help them look their best.

But, how we look and how we feel can be quite disparate. If we are injecting and implanting things into our bodies to look “better” but it’s actually increasing our toxic load and aging us biologically, what have we really gained?

Let’s unpack this together.

As a former model for Elite Models in NYC I’ve learned that beauty is both subjective (cultural preferences and personal opinion) and objective (facial symmetry and visual indications of health seen in the hair, skin, and body’s proportion are held in high esteem throughout history). With a bevy of modern procedures, an artificial type of beauty is fast becoming an impossible goal.

Choices we make to improve our health will be seen in improved hair, skin, and body proportion. These changes can be seen in a matter of days and they build momentum over time. Our bodies are constantly building new cells so we can literally re-create ourselves day by day with our upgraded habits. The longer we have good habits, the deeper our results go. In this way, time is your friend as it relates to good habits and aging!

Cultural and personal preferences are what they are. I think they are better observed with neutrality and replaced with celebrating the markers of health that aren’t just for the viewers delight but for the well-being of the person being observed.

Sadly, women are under pressure to look “perfect” and are injecting things into their faces that were used intermittently in warfare as nerve agents since World War II. Small doses of poison/toxins (repeatedly injected into our heads) aren’t our brightest idea as a species.

Many women are competitive. They have created a social hierarchy around beauty for millennia. But now, the competition has new options…with enough money and access to providers, women can make massive changes to their appearances….or they can “slow the hands of time” with little injections here and there.

This is not a moral question. The results can look nice and natural or “overdone”. It’s all subjective. We get to choose how to care for our own bodies. But informed choice is key.

The problem is that the manufactures and providers of these injections/implants/surgeries aren’t providing adequate information for women to make informed decisions. And women are all too eager to fall for a quick fix to make them feel better about their appearance. This is especially true when the majority of the women in their circles see these procedures as “maintenance” for aging.

I prefer working with improving the root issues to optimize beauty and accepting the natural aging process will have some change to my appearance. I also see that as I work on my Spiritual growth, new levels of sparkle and radiance and a release of emotional patterns that never served me, will continue to alter my appearance…for the better! After 6 healthy pregnancies I understand the work needed for beautiful form and function. I have a flat tummy with definition not because of vanity but because of strength, vitality, and the function I want in my life.

There are many little known but highly effective ancient practices to smooth and tone the face, to firm and lift the breast, to improve the body’s skin tone, and sculpt the physique. With daily habits you can not only improve your appearance in these ways, but actually improve your well-being (by improving blood flow, lymphatic drainage, and reducing inflammation) at the same time.

Examples of DIY ways of taking years off your appearance abound:

• Posture that is more open and relaxed can be developed in tandem with creating a more nurturing balance in your schedule. The weight of the world isn’t attractive on anyone’s shoulders! Responsibility balanced with enjoyment is an *attractive* look on us all.
• Excess weight is shed as we let go of eating to avoid uncomfortable emotions. Developing new tools for communication, time management, and living with purpose have physical manifestations of beauty and balance.
• A smoother forehead results from forgiving grievances. According to Chinese Medicine, forgiveness balances the colon helping us assimilate what was beneficial and releasing what isn’t of use to us. If you examine a Chinese medicine facial map, you will see that the area of the forehead and the colon are related. Forgiving and releasing looks good on us all!
• Releasing anger and worry and gaining greater body awareness helps you release your “11’s’ lines between the brows (corresponding with Liver function in Traditional Chinese Medicine) without injections. A daily Gua Sha massage here helps smooth out the lines as well.

I celebrate the lifestyle that optimizes your God given beauty. We all have aspects of our appearance that we like and things we are less fond of. Learning to expand our ideas around beauty is much healthier for us in the long run than having our faces and bodies altered in ways that aren’t good for our health. You cannot underestimate the beauty of a woman who is taking care of her issues body, soul, and spirit. It’s an endless upgrade if you commit to a growth mindset!

The beauty upgrades available with lifestyle changes are gradual -not instant. They require consistency and discipline. Using a Gua Sha to massage your face daily will increase collagen production, reduce the signs of aging by smoothing lines and reducing puffiness. But it might be done for weeks before you see a difference and has to be maintained as a habit over time to retain the improvements.

Doing face yoga can remove the “11’s” between the brows but it’s the habit of furrowing the brow (and an unconscious default state of worry or anger) that has to be retrained for the muscles not to mirror the mind’s state. Isn’t it just easier to go in every 6 months and get a little injectable?

It’s easier but it has a cost. A financial one and possibly one to your long term well being. In 2009 the FDA told providers that the body diffuses the injectables past the site of injection. How might a neurotoxin, in repeated and ever increasing amounts needed to retain the look, effect the brain and body? There is reason for caution here.

In addition to unknown chemical effects of repeated injections, there are physical consequences that have been identified. The immobilization of these muscles for long stretches of time, causes the muscle to atrophy/shrink. When you decide to stop your visits, there will be a time period needed to re-activate the blood flow and re-build the volume in the area. This can be done with facial yoga and massage. It will be a gradual rehabilitation. It’s worth the transition and the effort.

I suggest that beauty is a state of harmony we live in and we earn moment by moment, year by year. Our emotional, dietary, lifestyle, and spiritual habits all contribute to how we age. Who we become is much more than how we look. But how we look is highly influenced by who we have become. Our habits shape us. In every way.

I am passionate about helping women age well from the inside out. We are multi level beings. Our beauty is more than skin deep. Our wisdom, wit, capabilities, style, and health are ageless aspects of our vivacious beauty and they are accessible to us all. They are investments that keep growing over time, if we keep making deposits.

You are beautiful by nature. You can become more and more beautiful as you age if you invest in this inner wealth. Create beautiful habits and you will grow in beauty.

Cheering you on,
Rachel

“When we are deeply present, we have better relationships. We listen better. We speak with more skill. Actions are done with more skill. Mistakes are avoided. The quality of work is higher. At the end of the day, there are fewer regrets and more things to be proud of.”

Three habits I’m loving for the New Year

Hello Beautiful,

Happy New Year! I hope that you are feeling clarity and motivation to up level your life. Goals are only useful if they are tied to new habits. When we tie actions to our wishes/goals, we create the desired change. After reading a slew of books on change/habit creation there is no doubt that understanding our hidden decision drivers and skillfully stacking our habits is key to making permanent change.

Here are three changes I am making and the practical strategies I am using to make them stick:

1. Making fresh green juice in the morning.

Fresh celery juice (and sometimes cucumber, ginger, and lemon are added) replenishes and optimizes my system to an alkaline ph. It leaves me feeling bright and ultra nourished. By providing an abundance of minerals and enzymes, it helps my body remove cellular wastes and optimizes digestion and assimilation. It is pro-aging well (a better term than anti-aging!)—keeping grey hair at bay, reversing/preventing inflammation, and getting a fantastic start on the day’s nutrient density.

Practical step: Setting up my juicer at night and washing, chopping, prepping all my veggies in a large spinner (stored in the fridge) the night before. Then in the morning, it’s easy to just run the veggies through the juicer! At the moment, I do my Spiritual practices, my workout, and then my green juice as my morning trifecta for wellness. It feels great to start my day this way.

2. Eating 2 meals per day: brunch and a late lunch.

The average American eats 16 hrs each day! This wrecks blood sugar regulation, increases systemic inflammation, depresses immunity, and contributes to weight imbalances. As we enter midlife, the need for calories shifts and it is to our advantage to adjust our intake (increasing longevity by decades + improving our health and beauty along the way). Eating in a shorter window of time ( 4-8 hr feeding window) is better for our health on every level.

While Intermittent Fasting/Time Restricted Eating is quite popular, I find 2 aspects of its popular application problematic: drinking coffee all morning (depleting for the kidneys/adrenals which has cumulative +  long term negative effect) and shifting the eating window to the middle and end of the day (when the metabolism slows).

The evidence suggests that eating between 10-3 is the most congruent time for assimilating value from our food. The benefits are many: healing the digestive tract, attaining/maintaining a flat tummy (the result of balance blood sugar and optimized digestion/elimination), effortlessly attaining your healthiest weight, increased immunity, balanced hormones, balanced blood sugar, freedom from compulsive eating, clearer skin, stimulating the body’s production of Human Growth Hormone and collagen during the fasting window, increased autophogy (cellular recycling), better sleep, and preventing Alzheimers (the brain can clean plaque out at night if the digestive system isn’t diverting the blood flow needed).

It makes more sense to eat when you need/use the calories…in the active hours! Our digestive juices are most abundant and therefore effective in the midday. It’s important to know that our metabolism slows by up to 30% in the evening.

Taking all of this into consideration, I prefer to start the day with green juice around 9am, then eat a moderate brunch around 10/10:30am. Chia seed pudding and berries is a current favorite. I also have a low glycemic protein smoothie or some avocado toast. On Sunday it’s gluten free homemade waffles-my favorite! I love breakfast foods and missed them when I started my eating window midday. I don’t count calories. Instead, I eat a balance of protein, fat, fiber, and greens in a meal–chewing well and eating until satisfied (not stuffed).

My second meal happens around 2:30pm. Currently, I am loving roasted garnet yams, sautéed chard, a little black rice, fresh sprouts, and lots of EVOO and pink salt to top it off. I aim for 3-5 colors and a mix of protein, fat, and a variety of greens at this meal. Afterwards, I enjoy a cup of earl grey tea mixed with almond milk and froth it in the blender with Laird Hamilton’s Superfood Creamer—a wonderful creamy sweet dessert tea! I love feeling nourished by this meal and it has plenty of time to digest before bed.

I eat a (light) dinner 2 or 3 times a week when it’s a favorite menu or date night. I prepare dinner for my family around 5:30/6 and sit with them. I might have tea or a small portion of salad or soup. Being together for family meals is important to me and our family culture prioritizes nightly time to converse about the day and interesting ideas.

Practical planning: Monday and Thursday I make chia seed pudding so it’s ready for the mornings. Twice a week I pre-bake yams, grill salmon, and prepare black rice for the midday meal. An extra bonus: re-heated yams are healthier since they provide resistant starch/fuel for the “good” gut bugs. Having a lunch menu rotation of 3 variations I enjoy creates a balance between variety and simplicity. I decide ahead of time which dinners I will eat in the week, so its not a daily question. I am flexible with this…if my body needs more or less I respond accordingly.

3. Single Tasking

“To do two things at once is to do neither” -Publilius Syrus

Doing one thing at a time allows the highest quality experience and results. It may feel like we are being more productive to switch and juggle. And I will admit that it can feel exhilarating: “I feel so fast, capable, and efficient!”. But the quality of experience is reduced—time speeds up, our attention is divided, rapid switching in the brain produces mental fatigue and lower quality results. When we are deeply present, we have better relationships. We listen better. We speak with more skill. Actions are done with more skill. Mistakes are avoided. The quality of work is higher. At the end of the day, there are fewer regrets and more things to be proud of. People need to be honest that much work has to be redone simply because it was done with half of their focus. “Do it well and do it once” is a better habit to develop.

Practical planning: Making a list of the days tasks and editing it down by 20%. You can always add a task or two if things go faster, but having the time allotted (with a little grace period added in for the inevitable demands or delights that present themselves for attention) is key.

I invite you to try one or more of these in your life and experience the tremendous benefits.

Cheering You On,
Rachel

“Your self respect, your integrity, your regrets at the end of your life as you reflect on all you did and didn’t do, are all at stake.”

Creating a Morning routine that is transformative

Hello Beautiful,

I want to share about something that has made a huge difference in my life: my morning routine. I have had many, many iterations of this routine. Each stage of life has different needs and different abilities, but the key is to start the day intentionally rather than reluctantly!

When we start our day investing in things that help us thrive and grow it makes the whole day more intentional and less reactive. It’s also a great feeling to start the day with some wins that you control, knowing that the rest of the day may or may not look anything like what is on the calendar. Life can throw plenty of curve balls but when we reenforce our balance first thing, we give ourselves a better shot at going through the day with grace and of regaining our footing with more ease. Here are some of my favorite keys to creating a great morning routine.

For me the morning starts late afternoon the day BEFORE! If I am preparing an early dinner and having myself and my husband on the same page about after dinner plans, it makes a big difference. When are we eating? What needs to happen to finish our day? When are the kids in bed and it’s couple time? Having a clear plan for all of this helps the day finish intentionally and sets me up for a good wind down and restorative sleep.

For me, to wake up early, means I need to go to sleep between 9-9:30pm. A late dinner and lots of screen time after would put me out of the running for waking up clear and motivated. So, I serve dinner before 6 most days. Having good family time and an hour or two to reconnect as a couple is key. All this takes planning and follow through but is so worth it in creating a nurturing rhythm in our life. Our culture is often chaotic and reactive. If we want to live a beautiful life, we must be very proactive in creating it. It won’t just happen!

I find that 9hrs of sleep is magic in the darker months and let myself sleep until I feel refreshed most days. I am up between 6 and 6:30am. I normally have 90 minutes before I need to jump into responsibilities. I use this time for investing in my health—spiritually and physically. I might meditate and do fascia massage in the sauna, shower, and do a light yoga session. I might pray, read, and do a 45 min workout.

I might have a plan and then feel led to focus on just one thing really deeply during the time. Usually, I aim to do at least 3 things during the time: for my Spirit (pray, meditate, reading), a workout of some kind, and something for my circulation/lymphatic system (dry brush, infrared sauna, rebounding, fascia massage). I have a menu of a dozen wellness practices I value and am delighted to do as many as I can….. without feeling like I am shifting gears from being nurturing to being task oriented. Listening to my (the) Spirit is key in finding what is most useful for each days preparation.

It’s important not to get sucked into all or nothing thinking here. If 90 minutes sounds impossible, don’t give up altogether. There were long stretches where finding 10 min before a baby was up to do 5 min for my spirit and 5 min of stretching was a big deal. Our life circumstances can vary a lot and circumstances do change. But, it’s essential that we don’t give up on being proactive about our life.

When we are woken up by demands and deadlines, we start the day off reacting to necessities. When we, instead, wake up early and invest in our “stance” for the day, we give ourselves a big advantage, greater leverage to grow and choose and BE different all day. Do something. Start small and add more time as you can. Experiment and assess how different things feel differently to you. Your morning routine is not for your resumé. It’s for your LIFE. Just take a minute to ask what serves you best in this season of living?

Doing all this takes the ability to set boundaries. If you have made yourself so available for your family’s hobbies, preferences, and activities, that reading this make you wonder what planet I live on….then I challenge you to make how resourced you are for YOUR life a priority. Remember the message on airline flights… “put your oxygen mask on first, then help others.”

If you cannot say no to others to say yes to being the woman you want to become, then you will never get there. Your self respect, your integrity, your regrets at the end of your life as you reflect on all you did and didn’t do, are all at stake. Being of service to your loved ones is essential. Abandoning yourself and your dreams and potential is not.

There is a way to serve/be responsible and to flourish/center your life in strategic investments that allow you to grow in wisdom and ability. Following cultural norms will not allow both. You have to tune into a deeper calling and find where to draw those lines for this season of your life.

As we approach a new year, I pray you will have clarity, wisdom, and resolve to invest in consciously crafting your days in a way that allows for flow, for depth, and for intentional investment in your long term thriving.

Cheering You On,
Rachel

“We can make moderation and satisfaction our norm rather than letting too much and too little tyrannizing our existence.”

Too Much, Not Enough, Just Right

Hello Beautiful,

I was recently in a conversation where an interesting point was made regarding the similarities between struggling with weight issues and struggling with finances. The similarities between strict budgets and strict diets….both of which trigger a feeling of scarcity…that prompt the individual to “rebel” against the program and over indulge/over spend because they feel they aren’t going to get what they think they want/need moving forward. The unintended consequence is that the very attempt to solve the problem, exacerbates the problem!

Part of these challenges with extra weight and living beyond our means is a desire to know we will be taken care of and have enough. These feelings of overindulgence and then of compensatory restriction can become a powerful repeating pattern. But they don’t have to be! Instead, we can commit to thoughtfully meeting our needs in a way that is appropriate, rather than an act of indulgence to stock up for the coming paucity of provisions (be they in food or purchasing power).

It seems many of us, subconsciously, don’t trust ourselves. We may have good reason to feel this way. Years of overeating and overspending give justification for feeling like we can’t be trusted to make good decisions about how much we should consume. Part of the solution is in educating ourselves in nutritional/financial planning and the other part is in understanding the emotional/spiritual/psychological roots of our under-performing relationship with meeting our needs.

When we upgrade our decision making grid to include self awareness and long term planning into our consumption, we are able to better create satisfaction. To be deeply satisfied is a rare thing. Our culture rewards the eternal search for the upgrade—from appliance to gadget to car. The target is always moving. And we all know deep down that the satisfaction on offer is fleeting at best.

When we alternate between too much and not enough, we aren’t listening well. For example, our body will tend to hold onto weight because it intuitively feels the needs it’s communicating are going to be overridden and ignored. On the other hand, if we are deeply connected to our body and our inner decision drivers, we can discern the true nature of what we are feeling, needing, and being drawn towards…and get clarity on the “why.” With practice, we can powerfully align our choices with our deepest values.

What’s in that word…”need?” Our decisions are best made when freed of the influences of ignorance, addiction, marketing, and social dynamics. Freedom is the ability to make choices that create well-being in our future, not just pacify our cravings in the moment. The ancient Spartans use to say “We will teach you the handiest of habits.” We can make moderation and satisfaction our norm rather than allowing too much and too little to tyrannize our existence. So let’s talk about getting you some of those handy habits!

In my course Creating a Healthy Relationship With Food, we examine our patterns around eating and how to reset them. And in my course Luxurious Simplicity, we take a look at how we can create healthy relationships with  our belongings by streamlining and creating a great decision making grid for our purchases. Here’s an early holiday gift to you: 25% off on these two courses.

Wishing you a holiday season where you don’t eat or buy too little nor too much. I wish you a season where you don’t have to go on a diet in January to drop the weight you gained from overriding your nutritional balance and satiation cues. I wish you a season where you enjoy every bite and feel good about every purchase, knowing that they were appropriate and don’t require a restrictive counter action.

The deepest indulgence is to hit the bullseye of moderation and reap guilt free contentment!

Cheering You On,
Rachel

“I invite you to consciously choose how you want to age. Specifically, how do you want to feel, look, and live in the decades to come?”

Aging Well From the Inside Out

Hello Beautiful,

What does it mean when I say “Aging Well From the Inside Out”? This month I would like to elaborate on this concept and its implications. Everyone gets to choose how they want to age. Most people make their choices in harmony with the expectations they internalize over the years watching people in their family and social group age. If the group they identify with spends a lot of time and money on fitness, cosmetic procedures, and customized hormone replacement, then that’s what they’ll do. If a softer, fuller figure, decreased emphasis on outer appearance, and greater emphasis on community involvement & gentle living is the norm, they go with that. I invite you to consciously choose how you want to age. Specifically, how do you want to feel, look, and live in the decades to come?

There are many approaches you can choose to aging well in your own way. In my work, I offer resources to those who wish to age in the following ways:

1. They want to maintain (and even improve) their health and fitness with each passing year. Knowing adaptations may be required, but living with the intention of maintaining full function of the body over the course of their lifetime.
2. They want to maintain their femininity, sensuality, and style as they age. They believe that they have more to offer with each birthday they have celebrated and want to embody the richness of beauty that can be developed over time.
3. They want to release the baggage of bitterness, disappointment, and skepticism that can callous a heart after decades of life. Instead, they embrace the beauty of alchemizing hurts and disappointments into discernment, compassion, and wisdom. They maintain a bright Spirit and sparkle. They embrace the journey they have traveled and find insights that can benefit others. They have a sense of hope for the future that gives them a lightness in their Being.
4. They are informed about ( and opt to use) non invasive approaches to enhance their appearance. Rather than freeze the movement of the face or injecting fillers, they practice facial yoga, acupressure, lymphatic drainage, and other techniques to sculpt a face that moves naturally to reflect their emotions but is smooth and firm -not holding past negative emotions as deep lines or having areas deflated by muscle atrophy. They learn to create a lovely face through a combination of emotional and physical awareness and skillful exterior care of the skin, fascia, and muscles of the face.
5. They use strategic workout methods, wellness tools like infrared saunas, rebounding on a mini trampoline, and lymphatic drainage to reduce and eliminate cellulite, nutrition protocols to enhance skin and hair beauty, and an overall approach to wellness as the root of beauty.
6. They curate a vitality producing diet that enhances their well-being and gives them the energy to live an active and full life. They listen to their bodies and make modifications to their regime in educated ways, so that they can be deeply nourished as time alters what they need to thrive. They have basic principles that serve them and are able to adapt.
7. They remain life long learners-curious, open, and engaged. Life is an adventure. Our moments here are to be savored. Creating beauty is a service that enhances our lives and the lives of others. Joy is a choice. Happiness is a habit. Health is a set of skillful habits. Miracles are inevitable for those who cultivate the eyes to see them.

If you feel inspired by, and curious about, the above ideas -you are in the right place! Through my online courses and personal coaching sessions, you can learn how to incorporate all 7 of these principles into your life…allowing you to age beautifully from the internal to the external. I encourage you to find role models who have aged well in each of these ways. It make take several people who’s combined efforts embody them all, but you can then use their example as your own target for how to Age Well From the Inside Out. If we cultivate character and evolve our understanding and habits over the years, we can  embody qualities that inspire and serve others while being the best we can be.

Cheering You On,
Rachel

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you don’t stop.”

Tips for Helping Your Kids Eat Better

Hello Beautiful,

Happy Fall! With the return of school, extra curricular activities, and the holidays in sight, many moms are looking to build healthy habits into their children’s days. A common question I receive is “how do I get my children to eat healthier food?”. Mealtimes are best as a time of connection and nourishment and when they become a battleground, no one wins. Here are some of the tips that have worked best for me and my clients.

Get Sugar Smart

Most children are consuming 75 grams of sugar per day…that’s triple the recommended amount. This results in blood sugar swings, hyper activity, difficulty regulating emotions, and lots of unnecessary drama for the Mama. Start reading labels and being aware of serving sizes. Your goal is 25 grams (or less) of added sugar per day. If you make this one change, it will blow your mind how much more manageable your kids will become. The Sugar Spiral is real!

Set a Good Example

In parenting (and in life) this is ground zero. “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work. Kids are always watching us and taking cues from us. Even if they aren’t currently mimicking our choices, you can bet its logging into their subconscious and will influence their future choices. Set an example of eating meals. If you are personally not consuming anything but water between meals, and you are serving your family 3 meals (and perhaps an afternoon snack) each day, it will go a long way towards improving their diets.

Meals-vs-Snacking

I recently learned the average American is eating 18 hrs of the day! That’s eating something early in the morning, grazing all day, and eating again right before bedtime. This is detrimental to your sleep and digestion as the brain needs to clean at night but the glymphatic system that cleans the brain can only operate if the blood flow isn’t diverted to the stomach. Make an effort to finish eating 4hrs before bed 3x a week. You may need to remodel your family culture and set actual meal times (7:30, noon, 3pm snack, 6 dinner for example). Grazing all day hurts our metabolism and damages our blood sugar levels keeping them higher with each new snack, rather than allowing them to naturally lower and stay lower between meals. Remember, most “snack” food. Filling their tummies with healthy food at meals will make snacks less appealing.

Crowd out the Junk with “Veggies First”

Rather than attempting to blacklist certain foods, it’s helpful to crowd them off the plate with healthy foods. You can begin by aiming to get a fruit or a vegetable at each meal. Aim for at least 2 servings of vegetables (lunch and dinner). And choose lower glycemic fruits like berries, green apples, kiwi, and if they are up for it, grapefruit! Once that is an established habit, you can work towards half of each meal (by volume) being a low glycemic fruit or (preferably green) vegetable. The next priority is to get them full with healthy carbs like sweet potato, yams, or gluten free whole grains like rice and quinoa. You may also want to add some carefully sourced (wild caught seafood or pasture raised) meat onto their plates. Have them eat the vegetables first. You can even serve a first course that’s the vegetable and let them know that the other items aren’t served until the veggies are eaten. It takes around 9 times for a new food to be well received (and eventually enjoyed), so be open to requiring just one bite of a vegetable they don’t care for but would benefit from. The next time 2 bites, and so on. I have used this to expand the vegetable repertoire of many people. Our preferences are acquired over time, and can be shared for our benefit, over time.

Upgrade their Treats

“Upgrade, don’t eliminate” is one of my mantras. Find a cleaner version of the foods they love. If they love chips, try Seite brand (which is grain free and uses avocado oil). If they love cheese puffs, try an organic brand-there are many. If they love ice cream, try an organic, lower sugar, vegan alternatives (we like Nada Moo brand with the lower sugar flavors of Vanilla Bean and Chocolate being preferred). Pick a time of day or day of the week that these are on offer. Back to my previous point about snacking…we are aiming to improve habits as well.

Closing Thoughts

Helping kids notice how they feel after eating different kinds of foods is a very important life skill to give them. After the junk food pizza party….do they feel nauseous? After the chicken and broccoli and sweet potatoes do they feel comfortable and satisfied? Even “healthy” foods don’t feel great in everyone’s body. We are all different and different foods agree and disagree in our systems. And that changes over time. We want to teach kids body literacy—the ability to read and understand their own bodies is key. We are meant to be the experts on us. We need to listen and pay attention in order to build a good relationship-with our bodies.

Lastly, you are the leader. You are the parent. You are the role model. Don’t let your kids initial resistance weaken your resolve. You are considering their short and long term best interest. Kids are rarely able to see past the moment (until they are trained how to). Don’t expect them to be cheering you on in your efforts towards better family eating habits. At the same time, by making firm decisions and sharing how much you want to support their healthy growth and development to lay a foundation for a life lived in wellness; it all can be done in love. Use a gentle resolve as your baseline and don’t engage in power struggles. Instead, be consistent in your new habits and let them adjust in their own time. A loving but firm boundary that is held, is essential.

Your kids may surprise you. Our oldest two have moved out and of their own accord avoid gluten/dairy, look for organic options, and eat veggies daily. Meanwhile, at home, our two teenager are accustomed to eating a large plate of veggies with each dinner. Even our youngest kids are choosing healthy foods and avoiding junk food. When they have a conventional treat (rather than an upgraded one) they tell me they feel sick and don’t want to eat that again. People, this can be done! We are all works in progress and can shift our habits and preference with constant actions in the right direction. Progress over perfection, always.

Remember that we are building habits. We are helping them set a trajectory for a life of well being and body literacy. It’s worth the effort. Anything worth doing is worth doing incrementally, so you don’t burn out. Persist one step at a time. My suggestion is to pick one of these points and implement it this month. In a month or two, after that is established, pick another and stay with it, and so on. If you keep you eye on where you are going, without allowing overwhelm to paralyze action, you will eventually get there.

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you don’t stop”.

Cheering you on,
Rachel

“It’s not what we abstain from occasionally but how we make our daily choices that will create our well-being.”

Thoughts on Cleanses and fasting

Hello Beautiful,

I hope you are enjoying your summer. It’s an important time to *choose* to slow down, reflect, replenish, and play. Life will always be full of opportunities and the social momentum of being busy can make summer as busy as any time of the year. Only if we recognize the essential quality of rest and play, will we have the clarity to protect sections of our calendar for replenishment. I encourage you to block off parts of the day or days of the week for this. 20 minutes on the porch listening to birdsong, a nap, an after dinner stroll in the cool of the day can all be little summer pleasures that deeply replenish us. Nothing enhances our long term trajectory or short term fulfillment more.

Whether it’s a new headline on the dangers of chemicals we are exposed to, or an article on slimming down to look better in a swimsuit, cleanses and fasting are often encouraged. Having done both for varied duration of time over the past 30 years & counseling clients for the last 20 years on how these tools might serve, I have some things I would like to share with you on the uses of both that have worked best for me. Note* – you should consult your medical professional about diet, nutrition, and health related matters. I am not offering medical advice. I am simply sharing what has worked best for me. Everyone’s situation is different.

Thoughts on Cleanses

A cleanse is generally the elimination of foods/drinks that contribute to inflammation and the buildup of unhealthy effects in the body. Often herbs or supplements (like glutathione, charcoal, milk thistle, spirulina, etc.) are added to support the organs of elimination during the cleanse. When we research the toxic load our system is likely carrying, or we experience low energy, skin issues arise, or our digestion/elimination is problematic—we may hit a point where we want to unload some of the metabolic excess and allow the body to heal. Common cleanses eliminate alcohol, sugar, caffeine, grains or gluten containing foods, dairy, night shade vegetables, packaged foods, refined oils, and most/all meats.

Cleanses can be truly valuable when they allow us to reset our baseline. Once a person gets through the cravings related to things that were eliminated, they realize what feeling good really is. Most people struggle with low energy, poor sleep, uncomfortable digestion, and brain fog so regularly that they don’t realize they feel bad. They just feel normal. A cleanse is a chance to create a new normal. Call me a hedonist, but I want to feel good ALL of the time. Cleanses can help us extricate ourselves from bad habits and decide what to permanently reduce or make quality substitutions for. Once you create a new normal (which usually takes a month or two), it’s not tough to sustain a cleanse equivalent lifestyle. Occasional exceptions are no big deal, but always choose quality splurges—make it luxurious and enjoy it guilt free.

Thoughts on Fasting

In nature, when an animal is sick or injured, they hide out to rest and fast. Our bodies know how to heal. Our minds and habits can get in the way. A fast is abstaining from food or other things (like screen time, news, etc.) for the purpose of healing the body and/or strengthening our Spirit. Most people (88%) aren’t metabolically flexible (able to burn glucose OR ketones without drops in energy, headaches, nausea, etc.) and this makes fasting difficult for them. If we transition to a blood sugar balancing diet like the one outlined in Kelly LeVeque’s book The Fab 4 Diet it will gradually teach our body how to comfortably alternate fuel sources (like a hybrid car) and reduce systemic inflammation (and therefore address the root cause of most disease).

Fasting is a powerful tool to break addictions, reset the digestive system, support deep healing, and free our Spirit towards breakthroughs. If you are interested in using Time Restricted Eating/Intermittent Fasting as a tool to prepare you for 16-36 hr and longer fasts, a terrific book is Intuitive Fasting by Dr. Will Cole. I like to eat my meals in a 6-9 hr window most days and do a 20+hr fast each week. I also aim for a 3 day fast with each season change—using my intuition as to which days to do water only and which to allow blended soup, green juice or a smoothie. The physical benefits of fasting are many (reduced inflammation, increased cellular renewal, improved mitochondrial function, appetite reset, etc). Fasts also free our time and energy away from eating/meal prep and towards regeneration, creation, or breakthrough.

Fasting for spiritual purposes is powerful. When we have a big decision to make, when we are focused on shifting a deep seated way of being that isn’t serving us, when we are in solidarity with the suffering of others—we may choose to fast. We must be self aware of our motives. If there is a history of eating disorders, distorted body image, or control issues, we may be doing more harm than good by fasting. Take informed counsel and use self awareness to know what is right for you at this time.

As with so many things, it’s the intent/energy behind the action (self loathing or self supporting? Control based or surrender to the Divine?) that causes different effects from the same action. It’s your responsibility to take appropriate medical counsel and create a path that supports every level of healing.

It’s a myth that a fast or a cleanse will “fix” anything. Breakthroughs, insights, the initiation of a healing process can all begin with a fast or cleanse. They can shine the light on a better path forward, give us new perceptions, and free us from the emotionally and physically powerful habits we have around food. True freedom is found in being connected to your body and knowing what it needs to flourish. Clearing out the damaging habits & ignorance that negatively effect our ability to make informed and intuitive choices is key. In the end, it’s not what we abstain from occasionally but what we make our daily choices from that will create our wellbeing.

I hope you feel motivated to nurture your body, soul, and Spirit in whatever cleanse or fast you choose. Or, perhaps, you won’t cleanse or fast at this time in your life but instead you’ll deepen your understanding and intuition about what will create health in your being. Our health gives us energy to change and grow. When we are depleted, we don’t have the energy to make important shifts. Creating and directing energy is the currency that fuels all of our endeavors. Choose wisely, because your life is precious. Your dreams matter. The world is a better place when you can bring your highest contribution.

Cheering you on,
Rachel

“Everyone starts somewhere different, so don’t waste a moment comparing yourself favorably or unfavorably with others. “

5 Tips to Upgrade Your Life Effortlessly

Hello Beautiful,

What if we have been wrong, all along, about why we aren’t “Living Our Best Life”? What if it wasn’t a lack of time, discipline, or money that was keeping us from being our best at every level. I am happy to tell you that there are some paradigm shifts that can launch you forward to the next level of freedom, delight, and clarity in your life. Here are 5 ways to upgrade your approach and break through:

Upgrade don’t eliminate. For example, rather than swearing off chips and guacamole, try Siete brand grain free chips (free of inflammatory omega 6 rich oils -like canola, cottonseed, corn, sunflower, safflower, and soy oils- that plague 99% of the “healthy” chips out there) and fresh avocado seasoned with Spike multi-purpose seasoning and lemon juice. I am a firm believer that every “vice” has a fabulous tasting alternative. This summer I am making a healthy Key Lime Pie every week.

Take your time. Rushing through meals, conversations, and tasks is the route to dissatisfaction in life. In Cal Newport’s amazing book Deep Work, he shares research that being truly present to any task brings greater satisfaction than rushing through even the best experiences. In this distracted and over busy culture, we are losing the ability to actually enjoy what we are working so hard to accomplish. By slowing down and mindfully doing one thing at a time, we will multiply our life satisfaction in each moment.

Start small. Most changes are delayed because we don’t have the time, energy, money, etc to “really” do it. I challenge you to start with a 2-5 min daily action towards your “stuck” areas. A single yoga Sun Salutation, a single kitchen drawer re-organized, a 3 minute Jade Egg practice, or any other small but consistent daily practice you have been meaning to add “someday” is enough to turn the tide. After a few weeks, you may inch the time up a bit. Overall, the mindset shift you are going for here is “too small to fail.” We can all find 2 minutes every single day to meditate. In time, it will expand in scope, but for now, keep it tiny and consistent.

Progress not perfection. Keep heading in the direction of your goal. Don’t let setbacks convince you you’ve failed. Be compassionate with your setbacks and relentless in your re-orientation. Change is rarely a straight line but it is a consistent direction. All or nothing thinking usually leaves us with the nothing rather than all! So let’s be strategic, compassionate, and relentless in our direction.

Beware of comparison. When we are looking for an extraordinary result, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. Find role models for various areas of life (relational masters, aging well super heroes, people who excel as communicators, people who are wise, etc). Use your “Pantheon of Inspiration” to recalibrate your expectations for your growth. Everyone has different starting places, so don’t waste a moment comparing yourself favorably or unfavorably with others. Instead, keep studying the habits, skills, and mindsets of those who inspire you towards your fullest potential.

When we commit to change, we commit to upgrading our mindset and remodeling our habits. Both of these take some time and resolve to shift. If we take a strategic and long term approach, we can really make big shifts. I like to spend 30 minutes each Sunday to review my journaling insights, notes from time with counselors/mentors, and my own annual or monthly goals. I find this weekly re-immersion into my Future Self is key to keeping my momentum and refining my approach in the coming week. I am wishing you great success as you journey forward from what is now to what is possible!

Cheering you on,
Rachel

“The first step in shifting a long standing life pattern, is to connect to our physical body as the container of that pattern of energy. All life changes require a change in how we relate to our body.”

Breakthroughs come from Insight and Innovation

Hello Beautiful,

Like so many people, are you feeling the need for some breakthroughs in your life? Do things feel a little stuck? Or, are you longing for a break to catch your breath, integrate the last chapter, and savor a bit before the next thing starts up? I have some encouragement for you my friend! Settle in and read on for a juicy tale of finding freedom…

When Emily came to me, she was feeling pretty stuck and needed a new approach to transform some repeating patterns. It seemed like she was going from one crisis to another rather than being the captain of her ship. After many years and many strategies, she had started to wonder if life could ever be substantially different. It can feel like the “whack a mole” game, where just when one problem settles down, another arises. It’s not that she expected an easy life (she was realistic and a very diligent soul), it’s just that she felt perpetually on her heels. She wanted to get to the point where the pulse of life was nurturing and forward moving.

From that stability she could deal with the curve balls life sends to us all with more equanimity and less depletion. She wanted to create a new way of feeling moment to moment. She knew this would create a totally different quality of life-one that she had long craved. It had space. It had simplicity. It felt nurturing and forward moving.

Here’s how I helped Emily create a new normal….

We started with a deeply relaxing yoga session to help her get into her parasympathetic nervous system and release the stress she was carrying as a baseline “normal” sensation in her body. As Einstein said, “We cannot solve a problem from the same level of thinking in which we created it.” We have to access a different part of ourselves to find solutions for our evolved future. The first step in shifting a long standing life pattern is to connect to our physical body as the container of that pattern of energy, and better understand what our body knows. It knows a lot. It keeps a record of our joys and sorrows and our baseline way of being. All life changes require a change in how we relate to our body.

Next, we did a guided relaxation where she zeroed in on where she carried her tension—the pit of her stomach. Knowing that, we could support her stomach under the burden of tension it was often under. We then went into a journaling session where the wisdom of her centered, aware self could guide our work together most effectively. We explored several questions that helped clarify core beliefs about herself and the nature of life that kept her in her current patterns.

We also explored new and empowering beliefs that could be her new baseline to create a life around. My goal here was to connect Emily to her own spiritual and intuitive wisdom to re-create her life in fullness and balance. It’s an ongoing process and this phase of our work together was beautiful.

Out of the guided meditation and journaling work, came our game plan. First, we addressed the needs of her body: carrying her tension in her stomach made her susceptible to upset stomachs and bloating that depleted her energy and made her feel socially awkward at times. We decided to do some work on eliminating things we knew didn’t digest well for her, and to add probiotics and digestive enzymes.

Also, she committed to one month of 3 meals a day (no snacking) eaten seated at the table (no more meals on the run). Over the course of a month, her digestion improved dramatically, her abdomen reduced by nearly two inches, and her energy doubled. She felt clear headed and focused at a level that delighted her. What a breakthrough!

Next, we worked in her kitchen. She realized that it didn’t feel welcoming; she felt overwhelmed, yet without viable options. A kitchen purge was needed! We de-cluttered cookbooks, half the cooking gear was donated, and the pantry was purged of outdated and unhealthy options.

We made a list of her favorite foods and meals and found the best ingredients and recipes to use in a 14 day menu rotation. Now, her kitchen was twice as inviting—with everything easily accessible and uncluttered. Eating felt like a pleasure and meal planning and preparation was doable. She was saving money by eating at home more and was delighted that she released 5lb effortlessly that month. The pay off for clarity and creating a supportive system for meals was delightful.

As our work continued, getting to the root issue for Emily was key. As she had reflected in our initial yoga+ meditation+journaling session, she felt that she had always struggled to feel worthy of love. This came from childhood wounds, painful dynamics in her previous marriage, and the voice in her head that always put pleasure after completing a project.

After all, “I have to earn the right to be treated lovingly” had deeply lodged in her subconscious. It’s why she stayed up too late working (being tired is irrelevant when you need to prove your worth by working). It’s why she delayed eating meals (she had learned to quiet the needs of her body as nuisances rather than important cues for connecting to herself). It’s why she hadn’t moved forward various projects in her home (she treated her home like she treated her body—it can wait- outside needs are more important).

As Emily connected these dots, she realized that healing her emotional wounds and her connection to her body, were both key to moving things forward in her living environment and even her career. It was a cascade effect of insight and strategic action moving her forward.

Bringing this key issue to Light, and consciously re-patterning her approaches to reflect the truth-she is worthy of love and tender care separate from her helpfulness/productivity freed up her energy, released stale dynamics in her relationships, and healed parts of her Soul that had been neglected for a long while. The process is gradual and long term, but the initial insight, the loving support and new approaches I was able to bring to help her re-pattern, they all gave a sense of progress and hope that felt like fresh air in Emily’s sails.

After this set of changes felt deeply ingrained and natural, we  resumed our work and went deeper, expanding to other areas of healing, nurturing, and designing new systems and supportive environments.

By healing our souls, nurturing our bodies, and creating new patterns, we have an ever evolving path. In this way, we can actually age in reverse…releasing old patterns and becoming freer and more intentional over time. That is true freedom. It’s all connected and if we can take the time to listen, we can create a new way of approaching our life and our total well-being.

By connecting with the wisdom/needs of our body, we can tune into our emotional/relational lives, we can connect to our unexpressed creativity/sensual energy, and our physical environments (the stuck energy/extra weight we live with). I love helping women find lasting change through root cause insights.

We then create new environments and habits to support permanent shifts in the direction of living a nurturing, expressive, fulfilling, and calm life. And from that foundation of strategic living we can then weather the storms of life with greater ease, less trauma, and actually gaining strength and resilience.

Are you ready to make some changes? Let Emily’s story inspire you that it is possible. Reach out to me if you want a guide on your path…its my calling to empower successful women to re-prioritize their wellness and long term happiness.

“It is possible to create a life of beautiful intentionality in our self care, our environment, and the habits that support both.'”

Interior Design for Your Soul – Pt 2