“Pleasure, flow, and grace aren’t luxuries for the end of the race. They are the very things that sustain us along the way.”
making life easier
Here we are beginning the second month of the year! Please know that you are still in the first few moments of the year, and there is plenty of time to clarify and act on your goals. I like to take a month or two to really zero in on the essential core of my heart’s pull for the year. Take the time to re-word, re-work, and revise your initial goals into something both simple and profound.
For me, a central theme is enjoying my life more. I furthered clarified that it was key to keep re-releasing the internal “push” that can sneak into moments and turn things into a struggle for an outcome. I know so many amazing women who have said they can relate to this sneaky dynamic that inserts itself into moments big and small…bringing struggle into our days.
So, I wanted to share some of the tools that I am working with to re-wire this program in my operating system to one of greater ease and delight:
The 80/20 Rule
Having a good strategy (and constantly refining it) is key to success in every area of life. But, as it is said, “we make plans, and God laughs!” 80% of our success is linked to a well considered and well executed plan. 20% is our ability to surrender to the variables and unexpected things that come into play. If we are planning 10 hours of a days activities, we should be prepared that on many days, 2 hours will be diverted to the unexpected. We ought not resent or resist those derailments. We expect them as a sort of “emotional agility training” (ha, ha!). Make a great plan and embrace the inevitable.
Accept Other’s Autonomy
In a recent time of meditation, I heard, “respect their right to be ___________.” This could be that they are mistaken, confused, afraid, lost for the moment. This is key. We don’t have to struggle so much resisting any one else’s detrimental choices. They have the right to be wrong. Just as we do. Accepting their autonomy with minimal pause will grant us more energy and emotional freedom. As we relinquish the need to control, we are granted greater and greater connection and intimacy.
Other’s also have the right to carry their own load. We don’t need to step in and rescue them. Sometimes we see the consequences of their choices before they do and sometimes we don’t really know what’s coming.
Either way, we don’t have to take on the burden of getting inside their experience…that’s their responsibility. The more compassionate thing is not to ease their suffering, but to support their learning. A great way to accomplish this is by not interfering in the feedback loop that’s trying to teach them.
Compassion and generosity of spirit—yes! But, being a constant rescuer is no one’s life calling. Let go and let them work it out. Be a supporting presence and available.
Examine Your Script
Do you feel it’s selfish to enjoy your life? Is your lived experience that pleasure is earned by completing your work (in full) before resting? Do you feel fun is for after the work is done? Been there, too, Sister! But, as long as we are breathing there will be an ongoing list of things that need attention.
The key is to learn how to enjoy moments throughout the day. I am adding some unstructured time each morning and afternoon (just 10-20 min each) in which to follow my bliss. Self care needs to encompass a little “aimless” time spent each day. If we don’t claim a few minutes on the regular, we may find ourselves burning out. Prioritizing pleasure and spontaneity may sound nice but entirely unrealistic in your current circumstances. Which leads me to my last point…
Make it Easier
When you find yourself slogging through an interaction or task, ask yourself “how can I make this easier?” Pausing to empty your bladder or get some water might be just the thing to help you reset and approach the situation with fresh perspective. Lighting a candle might make doing that paperwork less onerous. Putting on a sweater to take away the chill that crept up on you, might make you feel more nurtured and able to find a simpler way to navigate the situation. Ask yourself how you can simplify or soften the process. It doesn’t have to be hard.
Life can be challenging. Burnout is a real possibility. Depression and overwhelm can overtake the most gallant among us. Pleasure, flow, and grace aren’t luxuries for the end of the race. They are the very things that sustain us along the way. They matter. Beauty matters. Laughter and fun are essential. Joy and spontaneity are life skills.
We have habits of being that we inherit. We have unconscious patterns we are entrapped by. One of the most important things to wake up to is our unconscious ways of being….especially the ones that aren’t serving us. Re-learning how to live with ease and lightness has an enormous impact on how life feels, how we are in relationships, and how we grow.
I hope I have provided some clarity and inspiration for your year. Please, prioritize your joy, your nurturance, and your peace of mind. Let go of what is not yours to carry. Build islands of pleasure into your day. Value adding beauty into your day. These are the things that make the journey lighter and sustain your Spirit through the seasons of life.
Cheering you on,
ps. If you’d like some support on your journey, let’s talk. Click here for details.