Author: RachelBeckWellness

Thriving Together Pt2

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with. We need to keep referring to our basic habits of health and virtue more than ever when we are under pressure.”

 

Key Points

  •  Creating and directing your energy
  • Creating signature virtues in your family
  • Navigating tough times with grace as a family

 

Thriving Together pt2 Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Let’s talk about energy. When you have abundant energy, you have the ability to be your best self, to skillfully respond to whatever happens in your life, and to live artfully. When we are exhausted we cannot live well. We perceive events to be more stressful and we act out rather than act wisely. Without a doubt, regenerating, directing, and protecting our energy is one of the most important things we can do for a better life.

 

I. Creating and directing your energy: How do you create energy? There are two ways 1) general health habits and 2) individual pursuits that fill you with delight. Importantly, we all need abundant and restful sleep (7-10 hrs). You cannot perceive how sleep deprived you are if you are living on borrowed energy from caffeine and sugar. You will know you are resting enough when you wake up before your alarm, feeling refreshed. This make take months of going to bed earlier but it’s so worth it. Sleep is the foundation of wellness.

When we are tired we crave simple carbohydrates, have lowered metabolic rates, reduced immunity, accelerated aging, reduced energy for exercise, poor decision making/impulse control, and many more deleterious effects. While nutrition, exercise, spiritual practices, and lifestyle habits are all super important…sleep is the queen. Start with trimming your schedule until you create the time to sleep enough regularly. Your willpower and clarity for all the other healthy habits will be fed by your rested reservoir of energy. If you want to be your best self, a super present mom, and enjoy your life it all will be fueled by the level of energy you have. And you have the opportunity to create high quality fuel for your life to run on.

 

When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with.

II. Creating signature virtues in your family: What would you like your family to be known for? Identifying and investing in these qualities is key to creating a family dynamic you love and that represents your values. Start by making a list of qualities that you want to embody, you want your children to embody, and the dynamics of your home you would love to be characteristic of how you live together. Then group related words/qualities. Next, circle the word that most resonates with your heart…that makes it sing and swell with longing.

 

Gather 3 or 4 of the words you most resonate with and write out what those words mean in the context of your ideal family life. For example, if you wrote the words happy, fun, harmonious, and teamwork down, then circled harmonious, you might write: “we are harmonious with each other by paying attention to ourselves as individuals and the dynamics of our interactions. We take the time to be aware and to synergize so that we can enjoy life and support each other with grace.”

 

When you have identified your core qualities, and written how they look in day to day life, then its time to share them with your family and post them somewhere you can all see them. The crucial follow up is to review your signature virtues often and create habits that re enforce those qualities and keep you consciously aligning your choices with your aspirational values.

 

III. Navigating tough times with grace as a family: When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with. We need to keep referring to our basic habits of health and virtue more than ever when we are under pressure. Sometimes our circumstances will change dramatically but our ability to sink or swim is contingent on our ability to keep our compass under pressure and not become directionless. Tough times make us stronger if we reconnect and deepen our commitment to our roots during the storm. One of the secrets of a life well lived is the ability to keep clarity of purpose when things are unmoored. Modeling this for our children is the best way to prepare them for solid living as they become adults.

 
Thriving Together is a course about understanding your unique gifts and priorities as a woman and then joining those with your family’s needs and contributions to the world. As you learn to identify both, you then consciously re-create your life to align harmoniously with them. I hope you will invest in yourself and your family life with greater enthusiasm and clarity with the insights I have shared. If you choose to invest in upleveling your personal and family life with my new audio course Thriving Together, I have a $15 discount to email subscribers running through July 31st, 2020 with code SUBSCRIBER15. 
 
Cheering you on,
Rachel Beck
 

Please check out my new online course:

Thriving Together – Click Here

 

Thriving Together Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “We need to choose who we want to be, how we want to parent, and the way our family life feels. This is a creative endeavor, a logistical negotiation, and a spiritual expression of our highest values.”

 

Key Points

  •   Build on Your Natural Strengths
  • Creating Your Unique Family Rhythm
  • The Beauty of Less

 

Thriving Together Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Mothers have such a central role in creating the environment of their home. This includes the emotional environment, the relational patterns, and the speed of life the family adopts. We are the gatekeepers on so many levels, deciding who and what gets to influence our sanctuary. I am often asked how I stay vibrant and raise sons who have bright eyes and are kind and present.

I have taken the time (and love!) to carefully note my process for this over the past 22 years and I am so excited to share it with you. Inspiring you and providing practical tools that will truly upgrade your health, your parenting, and your life is what I am passionate about. It’s up to us to create our life on purpose.

We need to choose who we want to be, how we want to parent, and the way our family life feels. This is a creative endeavor, a logistical negotiation, and a spiritual expression of our highest values. Here is a taste of the feast I have prepared for you.

Rather than being run down and exasperated, we can be vibrant in body and spirit creating a life we love with those we love.

Build on Your Natural Strengths– Don’t try to be a copy of another mother you admire. While it can be helpful to study her mindset, borrow her “tools,” and be inspired… you must integrate these into your natural strengths. If you are a walking party, let your home be the hub of the neighborhood.

If you are a planner, let your home radiate security with the flow of the familiar. Be YOU in your parenting style. At the same time, be willing to expand and grow in ways that will harmonize with your family’s needs right now. Find the sweet spot that celebrates and utilizes your best qualities and fuels growth in areas that will round you out as a person.

Shunryu Suzuki — “Each of you is perfect the way you are … and you can use a little improvement.”

Creating Your Unique Family Rhythm – Living in rhythm, a carefully chosen rhythm, is one of the joys of a life well lived. Too often, we live according to the rhythms we inherited, or are socially reinforced, or simply by responding to need after need and event after event. A life well lived for you as a parent, and for your family, is rooted in a consciously chosen rhythm. You need repeating themes, a baseline that carries through, time for individual creative solos, and the ability to rest.

Creating intervals of quiet and replenishment is the only way to create little humans capable of being still, who can listen and observe what is going on inside them and in those around them. In creating your family rhythm, you are intentionally carving out times to rest and strategize and you are creating times to create and interact. Both are essential.

Neither are possible to do effectively while being carried by others expectations or our own unconscious momentum. Regularly stepping outside the milieu is essential to thriving as a woman and as a mother.

The Beauty of Less – Most of us are over scheduled and over stimulated. When we commit (and continually recommit!) to simplifying and building our life around our deepest values, we create more beauty and a deeper capacity to enjoy our lives. We can simplify our environment by removing the accumulations of clothes, paperwork, and stuff.

We can simplify our schedule by putting our top 3-4 commitments into our schedules and leaving the secondary commitments to find (or not find) a spot after we have invested in our top priorities. We can find time for plenty of sleep, for 1-2 hours of self care, work, and life logistics if we don’t accidentally spend 4-8 hours looking at our phones/tv’s/computers.

The less we have/ do/ say…the more potent and intentional those choices are.

Next week, I will be offering part 2 in this series on “Thriving Together.” If you want to dive more into the topic (and summer is the perfect time to do this!)…

Please check out my new online course:

Thriving Together – Click Here

Cheering you on,

Rachel

P.S. I am offering an exclusive $15 off the price of the course to my email subscribers through July 31st, 2020. Just enter code SUBSCRIBER15 at checkout.

 

All That You Can’t Leave Behind….

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “It is only by the willingness to set aside who you thought you were and could be that you can truly discover who you are and can become.”

 

Key Points

  • Be Willing to be Wrong
  • Be Curious
  • Think for Yourself
  • Love Your SELF More Than Your Self
  • The Durability of the Indestructible

 

All That You can’t leave behind….

All that you can’t leave behind—why it’s so hard to change and how you can finally break free

One of the most important truths of life we all come face to face with is that change is both essential and darn near impossible at times. Why is it so hard to shift our patterns, to finally break free of how we are being…even when we know it’s needed and our old habits are costing us? What if you could finally understand what is holding you back and cut the cords that seem to tie you to that pattern of being?

1. Losing everything….

Jesus taught that it was easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Setting aside the crowd dispersing nature of this statement, let’s discuss what this riddle actually means and how it can be the key to our freedom.

2. Being wrong….

Without an annihilate of ego/self we cannot enter into the “kingdom of heaven” or freedom or a new way of being. We have to stop defending our bad behavior, emotional immaturity, and lack of skill. We have to get good at taking responsibility rather then spreading blame. We have to be willing to unknown everything we feel is most certainly true and be open to the TRUTH.

3. Being curious…

Mark Twain “What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so”

Having decided we don’t have to defend our beliefs, we can now be curious about what might be a more accurate belief or skillful approach.  Sometimes we foolishly attach beliefs to our identity and make any challenge to those beliefs a challenge to us on a core level. Without curiosity, there is no significant growth. If we are open to the unknown, we can discover important, yet once heretical truths like 1) the earth is round 2) leaches aren’t good for sick people and 3) all people deserve the same (high level) of respect and justice. Large groups of people have been wrong about crucial issues over and over in history. Right now there are beliefs people hold dearly as sacrosanct fact that will be pitied for their ignorance and small mindedness by those to come.

4. Thinking for yourself….

Are you willing to own your own opinion rather than be told what you should think? In every area? We all have areas we feel open minded in but others we rope off. The truth is not fragile. We don’t need to defend it. It has stood the test of time and can handle your tests. But superstition, group think, and lazy opinions are held dearly and fiercely protected. Are you willing to look like a fool to some in order to align with what you discover the Truth is? Do you value your self respect more than the fickle approval/rejection of strangers?

5. Loving your SELF more than yourself….

We can come to the point in our journey where we are no longer protecting ourselves by insisting we are right. We can hold our opinions more loosely and be open to new facts and points of view. The TRUTH is sturdy and can handle a legitimate “testing” but group-think becomes indignant and condescending if it is scrutinized. Our true Self has nothing to protect or defend. It is capable of being wrong and learning. Our ego self cannot be wrong because it feels inherently unlovable and therefore has to do an elaborate song and dance to distract or an aggressive counter attack to defend its antics.

Cultivating the Willingness to Dissolve

So, how can a camel fit through the eye of a needle? Only by dissolving and passing through as nothing to the other side. That’s the only way we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven or a deeply meaningful life here on earth for that matter! U2’s song,  “Walk on” tells us that the “only thing that you can’t bring is —all that you can’t leave behind.” That lyric makes me laugh and cry at the same time! If we can’t leave it behind it is the clearest indication that it will not fit through the eye of the needle.

The Durability of the Indestructible

So, what comes out on the other side of the needle is…different. It is only by the willingness to set aside who you thought you were and could be that you can truly discover who you are and can become. The courage to let it all go and make the leap into nothingness is the only way to preserve ourselves. What a conundrum! It’s darn near impossible and that’s why so few people do it. It is the ultimate miracle….the multiplication of a substance through it’s surrender to the void. It’s how we are initiated into manhood and womanhood.

It is the biggest, scariest leap there is to take. It takes tremendous faith. Those who make a practice of coming up to this edge and then courageously dissolving, not knowing anything about what the other side looks like…not making or getting any guarantees….they are the ones who live glorious lives. I like to say that a good life consists of many deaths. We have to be willing to let go of all we have known ourselves to be, demanded of our lives, and expected to be true in the world if we are ever going to be free to see, live, and align with Truth. Honestly, it’s the only way to really live, everything else is just posturing and pretending.

We are all capable of so much more. Let’s step up to the challenge wherever it is showing up in our lives right now and go through the process of being able to loose it all so we can gain what is indestructible.

Love and Light,
Rachel

 

Parenting Under Quarantine

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

“We can see how we are basing our happiness on the behavior of others…needing other people to think, act, or feel a certain way for us to be happy or at peace.”

 

Key Points

  • Find the Flow
  • Make Tasks Easy and Fun
  • Relate with Respect
  • Choose your Focus
  • Connection is Key

 

Parenting Under Quarantine

Tips For Managing Emotions and Expectations When You Are With Each Other 24/7

Family dynamics can seem complicated but our needs are pretty simple: having our physical needs met in a predictable and satisfying way, relating to those we share our time with in respectful and constructive ways, and having a sense of contribution and progress in our lives.

It’s simple but not always easy!

Being a mother of 6 boys, my learning curve in how to do this — sometimes gracefully and other times less so —has been steep. It has given me the opportunity to learn about myself and others in precious and impactful ways. And the learning is never done. Just when I figure out one dynamic, I see how I need to improve another.

Thank goodness its about progress, not perfection! Whether its Covid-19 Quarantine, summer break, or your kids are home because they are young (or like me, you homeschool)….we all need a good plan to manage life, our needs, and our little peoples needs as well. For many people, the toughest part of the Covid-19 Quarantine has been the relentless need to parent, perhaps to temporarily homeschool, and to shoulder the concern of economic instability or loss.

Replace Your “Escapes”

All of these things are intense and being forced to deal with them all at once is a tall order. When many common “escapes” from what’s not working in our lives are gone, we are face to face with unresolved issues that have been swept under the rug.

Here are some of the things I have found help us create a joyful, connected, nurturing dynamic for us in our home. I hope they can be an encouragement and inspiration for you as you find what works best for you and your family during this time.

5 Tips to Help Now

  1. Find the flow:  If you have teenagers that want to sleep in, lean into that with an extra long session of personal time in the morning for yourself. If you have early risers that need breakfast at 6:30 am or they’ll create havoc, set out breakfast the night before. Blend with what is already shaping everyone’s natural rhythms. Toss out the “should’s” and find ease as much as possible.
  2. Make tasks easy and fun: Music, laughter, and a feeling of lightness go a long way. When we feel intense pressure, we have to find ways to let that go so we don’t implode. Be the leader in diffusing tensions by showing the assumption of goodwill. Employ the unexpected and the silly to keep it light when you are all feeling suffocated….chocolate chips on salad—sure!….costume day—great idea!!….speaking in foreign accents when reading their favorite book—definitely!!…find ways to bring whimsy into the everyday. In heavy times, we need to remember all of us need more play and laughter.
  3. Relate with respect: Saying please and thank you, not interrupting each other, and using terms of endearment when addressing each other. For example: “Love, can you please clean up your room?” These things all go a long way in creating a relational dynamic that feels good to be in. Set the example yourself and create a gentle and kind dynamic as often as possible.
  4. Choose your focus: Choose a few rules and let the rest go. But, be solid in your commitment to the rules you choose. In our home how we speak to each other, how we support each other, and how we take personal responsibility are non-negotiable. Decide what yours are and make them clear to the members of your family. Practice modeling the values well for your kids. Also, show them how to own mistakes with a clean apology and do-over when you miss the mark. Commit to progress, not perfection, but be unwavering in the direction you are going together, even though you may stumble a little on the way.
  5. Connection is key: If we are connected to ourselves, we can connect well to others. Prioritize what makes you feel healthy, centered, and hopeful so you can show up as that person for your loved ones. For me that’s great sleep, daily movement, great nutrition, and practices that feed my spiritual growth. Once we are connected to ourselves we are able to connect to others. Connection requires we let go of our agenda of what we wish was going on with the other person, and create space for where they actually are. It takes courage, the ability to feel our own judgement/fears come up, and the ability to hold faith for their growth. Sometimes everyone is delightful and our heart is overflowing. Sometimes people are prickly and difficult and we feel overwhelmed and discouraged by it. During bumpy moments, we have to keep our head above water and trust that things will smooth out. It’s not our job to manage everyone; rather, we need to model character and encourage them to rise to their potential…and have faith that they will.

Emotional Maturity Brings Peace in Conflict

Everyone we relate to can help us see where we aren’t yet done maturing. We can see how we are basing our happiness on the behavior of others…needing other people to think, act, or feel a certain way for us to be happy or at peace. Rather than being emotionally mature and not resisting where they are, we can choose how we show up, regardless.

In the end, this time of 24/7 parenting can pave the way for an upgrade in our spiritual development, our family dynamics, and it can help us face whatever we were avoiding previously. Now we have a great opportunity to realize that one of the greatest joys in life is to meet challenges in such a way that we “work out” on those problems like reps in a gym and produce muscles of integrity and virtue.

Love and Light,
Rachel

 

Nourish yourself with what you really need

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

“Self reflective practices will help you understand your needs better. They will also support behaviors that address the actual issues.”

 

Key Points

  • Self Awareness is Key
  • Have Your Own Back
  • Give Yourself What You Really Need
  • Eating as Distraction From What You are Feeling
  • Make Meals a Special Occasion to Enjoy

 

Nourish yourself with what you really need

tips for feeding yourself

body & soul

The upside of all this disruption to our patterns is that we can take a fresh look at our habits and see if they are really serving us. Let’s take initiative to create patterns to help us live with more presence and joy.

Self Awareness is Key

If you can check in with what you are feeling, you can better support yourself. If you don’t know what’s going on inside, you are likely to project onto others…to distract yourself instead of address issues…and to be frustrated instead of effective. Self reflective practices will help you understand your needs better. They will also support behaviors that address the actual issues. For example, when you feel hungry at an odd time, pause and ask yourself, “What do I really need…am I really hungry?” Wait for the answer before you act.

Have Your Own Back

Don’t put off what you need. If you need to go to the bathroom, don’t wait more than a few minutes. If you are thirsty, get some water. If you are sleepy, its better to take a 15 minute nap and then do 45 min of effective work rather than to be drowsy at the computer for an hour. Take care of you. No one knows what you need better than you. It’s your job to be the CNO (Chief Nurturing Officer) of yourself so you can show up as the Real You!

Give Yourself What You Really Need

When your energy is low you might be tempted to eat for energy….but what you really need is a nap or a walk in the sunshine. Check in and see what you really need. And don’t be afraid to give that to yourself – putting your needs at the bottom of the list is a habit you are finally done with.

Eating as a Distraction From What You are Feeling

When its tough to handle the emotions swimming around inside yourself, you might be tempted to eat as a temporary distraction. Remember, food is for satisfying hunger, not handling stress. Eat well and use other methods to manage emotions like physical movement, conversing with a loved one, journaling, or meditating.

Make Meals a Special Occasion to Enjoy

Sit down at the table, with a nice place setting, fresh nourishing food you plated well, and the time to eat slowly and enjoy your food. If you eat while distracted you won’t enjoy the food and typically over consume by 10-15% compared to undistracted eating. That extra food can add 30 lbs a year! Eat what you need but not more than you need.

Good News!

I have just released a new audio course called  How to Develop a Healthy and Sustainable Relationship with Food and it is a bounty of resources. If you are ready to remodel your relationship with food and enhance your patterns of self care, I hope you’ll check it out HERE. We have low cost and no cost options available. We don’t want money to get in the way of helping you nourish yourself .

I’m sending love and support to everyone as we navigate these waters. It’s a chance to grow into a clearer, kinder human right now. Seize this opportunity to create new habits that better serve you.

Love and Light,
Rachel

 

We Can Choose

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

From My Heart To Yours…
As I begin my 3rd week of “social distancing,” I am more committed than ever to taking exquisite care of myself so I can show up in a way I am proud of for myself, my family, and this interconnected world of ours.

We Can Choose

Each of us gets to choose whether we freeze, freak out, or double down on calm, strategic action to do what we can, where we are, with what we have. With a house full of 8 (now 4 adults as our 2 oldest are back home with my husband and I for the time being) and 4 children, there is a lot to manage—meals to cook, school to teach, laundry to do, working from home on our businesses, and especially creating a healthy, happy home base from which we can all thrive.
Deep awareness, clear agreements, and consistent follow through make it possible to manage all this and still have time for taking amazing care of myself.
So many of us are likely addicted to entertainment rather than truly relaxing and restorative lifestyle habits. Consider if the national average of 4hrs on your phone each day and 4 hours watching shows on TV/Computers is creating the physical and mental health you feel best about.

Limit The Screens

We limit our movie/show time to a couple of evenings per week and use the other nights for games (ping pong, black jack, and Pente are current favorites), making music together, reading by the fire, or talking and relaxing. Notice if all your non-work time is spent being entertained. I contend that you deserve better. You deserve to feel great in your own skin, healthy, energized, centered, and inspired.
Because I limit my screen time to 45 min most days (online banking, email, a few blogs/vlogs that inspire me) I have plenty of time to: get 8- 9 hours of sleep, 90 min of yoga/pilates/walking, do facial massage & jade egg training, meditate, practice breathing exercises, and eat healthy meals while sitting down at the table. All of this investment in my body, soul, and spirit supports me so I can be my best (most of the time) even when times are challenging.

Self Care

Here is how I like to chunk my self care practices throughout my day. I hope it inspires you to create your own next level self care plan. Now is the time! We all need to create structure and a sense of progress to help us cope with all the difficulties and unknowns in our lives. Self care is not selfish. Self care is strategic! Without great health, a solutions-focused mindset, and a connection to the Bigger Reality….we won’t weather this storm so well. So get lavish with yourself….here’s how I am doing that right now:

A good day starts the night before….

  • Aiming to eat by 6pm to let the food digest well before my early bedtime
  • No phone or screen time after 7pm so my circadian rhythms sync with the light/dark cycles-I usually fall asleep with 10 minutes if I give myself a few hours without screens in the evening before bed
  • 9:30 in bed, so I can get plenty of pre-midnight / extra restorative sleep

My morning self care 6:00-8am

  • 6am wake up for journaling, meditation, and breathing exercises (pranayama)
  • 6:45 begin 45 min of yoga/pilates
  • 7:30 shower + jade egg practice+ face yoga (5–1minute exercise to relax jaw, tone neck, smooth forehead, sculpt cheekbones,and prevent lines between eyebrows)

Mid-day Nurturing

  • sit down for a healthy lunch and listen to a podcast that inspires me
  • 5-10 minute massage self massage of my scalp and neck with frankincense + geranium essential oils in a coconut oil base

Late Afternoon Reset

  • take a walk in nature with one of my kids for a combo of exercise, parenting, and time in nature
  • drink a glass of water with a big spoon of green powder mixed in for a mineral boost

Evening Unwind

  • kids are in their rooms for the night by 8 so the house is quiet
  • take a bath with salts, oil, essential oil….light a candle….put on a face mask
  • rest my legs straight up the wall as I use my jade gua sha disc to massage my face and neck
  • exchange 5 compliments and 5 brags with my husband to finish the day with connection and a sense of progress
  • meditate with my beloved before sleep
Some days I miss a few, and that’s OK. The key is to reconnect with my “engine” and fuel it every few hours so I keep burning brightly and create a solid foundation of wellness.
~ Here’s to Flourishing ~

~ Here’s to Flourishing ~

Partner With What is Rather Than Resisting It

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

From My Heart To Yours…
As we face uncertainty and fear in this unprecedented global health challenge, I want to encourage all of you to focus on how you can turn this “stress-garbage” into compost. One of my core beliefs is that we can choose how to process all we encounter and use it to make us stronger. So, while we are “social distancing” we can also do so many positive things!
This may be a different week than we planned. Our plans have to be postponed or modified in many cases.
 

“we can partner with what is rather than resisting it”

 

Here are some of my suggestions for the coming weeks:

  1. Choose to up level your health and immunity for your own flourishing….act from a place of love and gratitude for your body not fear
  2.  Focus on what you can control and improve: you can spring clean, do home projects, do your digital organization, and spend less time commuting
  3. Gratitude practice x100: focus on what is going well, what you appreciate, who you love
  4. Don’t let your mind direct all its creative power towards possible negative outcomes but rather daydream about how things could work out well in the end
  5. Limit you media (especially news) to being informed but not becoming inundated….15 min a day is more than enough for me
  6. Go to bed early…get caught up on sleep and truly rested. A good night’s sleep is the shortest distance between despair and hope….and it’s great for increasing immunity, too!
  7. Get fresh air…whether that’s taking a walk, run or a hike.
  8. Keep active: being sedentary lowers our circulation, our immunity, and our mood. Dance and yoga are especially powerful mood boosters.
  9. Use music to lift your spirits—we can lift ourselves out of a funk with upbeat music
  10. Consider an organic, plant-based, unrefined, and varied diet for optimal health.
  11. Use the power of touch: cuddle pets, tickle kiddos, massage, & make love.
  12. Remember that resilience, ingenuity, faith, and connection to ourselves and others can sustain us through the unexpected….and into greater growth and thriving!

~ Here’s to Flourishing ~