Author: RachelBeckWellness

5 Tips for Eating Well and Staying Slim Over the Holidays

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

“I prefer to indulge a bit, but not so much that I trade indulgence now… for deprivation later!”

 

5 Tips for Eating Well and Staying Slim Over the Holidays

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

It’s easy to expect a few pounds to be added every holiday season. Most people gain an average of 5-8 extra pounds over the holidays. I prefer to indulge a bit, but not so much that I trade indulgence now for deprivation later! For me, gaining 2-3lbs is my sweet spot for holiday indulging. That easily disappears in a week or so. Here are some tried and tested strategies for creating a healthy eating framework:

1. Pre-Decide Your Meals

Start by deciding what and how much you are going to eat the next day. When you pre-decide your meals and portions, you are protecting yourself from emotional or habitual eating that doesn’t serve you physically or emotionally. Know what you need and enjoy your meals slowly and mindfully.

2. Eat Meals Rather Than Grazing

A good rule of thumb is 2-3 meals per day in an 8-12 hour eating window. This allows the digestive system time to rest and repair. Snacking all day sets you up for a blood sugar roller coaster (unless you have a medical condition and have been advised to eat on a more frequent schedule). Eating several satisfying meals per day is an important pause to rest and enjoy the moment rather than mindlessly grazing on food throughout the day/night.

3. Consume Plenty of Nutrient Dense Produce

Aim to eat 1/3 of your volume as raw fruits/veggies. Berries at breakfast, sliced veggies with lunch, and salad with dinner are examples of how to do this.

Add another 1/3 of your volume as cooked veggies. This could be greens stirred into your morning eggs, a bowl of veggie soup at lunch, and a stir fry at dinner.

If you eat 2/3 of your meals as produce, you will be in an alkaline dominant diet and your body will receive optimal nutrients levels, eliminate wastes efficiently, and you will feel full with the fiber content.

4. Curate Your Fat Consumption

Have quality fat with each meal. Some of the best choices are:

  • Avocado
  • Nuts and seeds
    • The nutrients are most easily absorbed and easily digested if these have been soaked and dehydrated. Organic nuts and seeds that have been optimized in this way can be purchased from WildlyOrganic.com. My favorites from this website are the Brazil nuts, Pecans, Walnuts, and Sunflower seeds. I like to have a mix of these available in my purse, in the car, etc. At a minimum, check the packaging information to make sure that your nuts and seeds haven’t been cooked in one of the inflammatory oils (see below) or have added salt (unless it’s pink/sea salt).
  • Pasture Raised Butter
  • Extra Virgin olive oil, avocado oil, sesame oil, and coconut oil are all good choices.
    • Buy these oils in glass (never plastic) containers that are dark green or black so that the light doesn’t damage the fat. Be very careful not to ingest rancid nuts/seeds or oils. Rid your diet and purge from your pantry and fridge any of these inflammatory oils: Peanut, canola, corn, cottonseed, safflower, sunflower, and soy oil. Unfortunately, they are cheap and ubiquitous in nearly all packaged cookies, crackers, salad dressings, and chips. They rapidly age you by increasing inflammation and damaging your cells. I first learned about this 20 years ago from a Harvard professor and over the past 10 years, the research is flooding in backing the original assertion about these oils. Many people experience dramatic improvement in skin conditions, like eczema, from removing the 6 damaging oils above and replacing them with the more salubrious forms of fat suggested above.

5. Have Protein With Each Meal.

Be picky about your sources. Choose pasture raised eggs and chicken, wild-caught fish, and pasture raised meats. Fresh nuts and seeds are awesome (if you are a woman of childbearing age look into Seed Cycling to optimize you hormonal health). Lentils, beans, and whole grains can also be consumed for protein. You are what you eat. High quality foods create healthy cells. Observe and feel into your body’s indicators (your hair and nail quality & energy levels are revealing in this manner) and experiment to see how much protein you do best with right now. Our body’s needs change over time. Be flexible to change your protein sources and amounts based on your needs now-vs-others theories or your past patterns.

Learn to read your body and develop a good “listening” relationship to your inner guidance. As you progress from a top down approach of trying to control your body, to a loving partnership of sensing and responding to your body, you will be guided to new approaches that balance and optimize your well being.

When we lovingly care for ourselves through our dietary choices, we naturally reach and maintain our healthiest weight and best health.

Wishing you a delicious and balanced holiday season!

Cheering you on,
Rachel

 

My Top 10 Ten Tips for Gorgeous Skin

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

That’s my 46 year old skin! No fillers, No Injections 🙂

 

“Aging beautifully has a lot to do with nurturing our beauty from the inside out. “

 

My Top 10 Tips for Gorgeous skin.….

I just finished uploading my Gorgeous Skincare for Life course and wanted to share a preview of the wonderful content with you! Skincare is healthcare.
 
Our skin is our largest organ and it mirrors our overall health, especially what is happening in our digestive system and immune system (80% is in our intestinal lining). Aging beautifully has a lot to do with nurturing our beauty from the inside out.
 
We can never find a skincare or makeup product that will effect our skin’s beauty more profoundly than our healthy diet, targeted supplementation, refreshing sleep, active lifestyle, and circulation enhancing habits. So let’s take a peak at my top tips….
 
  1. Protect/rebuild your digestive tract with a colostrum supplement (I like Sovereign Labs Colostrum Powder). For 6 months I took it first and last thing and then for maintenance I take it once a day. About once a month, I do a 24-36 hr fast and I will take 2T. 4x a day to stabilize my blood sugar and provide extra building blocks for my body to repair during my fast.
  2. Take a probiotic daily with 2 or 3 of your meals. I like Dr. Tobias and Garden of Life brands. Having a healthy gut biome is the cornerstone of eradicating skin problems. Feeding the good bacteria is key. This will likely improve digestion and elimination as well. When our skin is unhappy it’s the gut bugs that likely started it!
  3. Reduce the bad gut bacteria (Candida, SIBO/small intestine bacterial overgrowth, etc.) by taking one teaspoon of coconut oil late at night and again before resuming eating the next day. Keep it 1-2 hrs away from food to maximize its effectiveness in the intestine. After 7 -10 days the improvement in digestion (and skin!) will be obvious.
  4. Eat a low glycemic diet of organic whole foods. Avoid simple carbs in all forms: refined grains, alcohol, sugars, and sweet drinks. I promise, after you get past the initial withdrawal phase of your sugar detox, you won’t miss them. And your health will improve, your healthy weight will reveal itself as your norm, and you will feel fantastic!
  5. Exfoliate at least 3x week. Gently dry brush, use your body scrub, and gentle facial exfoliant. When we gently slough off the top layer of skin, we stimulate new cells to be produced, increase circulation, and improve our glow. The key words are gentle and consistent.
  6. Massage your skin daily. Use a gua sha, fascia blaster, or your strong hands and firmly massage your skin in upward/circular strokes with a good oil. There are a plethora of facial oils on the market now for this very purpose. You can find good almond, apricot, jojoba, or luxury body oils as well. The combination of stimulating circulation and adding moisture is great for skin.
  7. Sleep well! I suggest a digital sunset of 7pm (no screens after this time—most nights).  Living by soft/candle light to wind down and cue the production of melatonin for good sleep is soothing. Create a sleep ritual you love to unwind your mind and body. Getting your beauty sleep is more than a phrase…its a reality.
  8. Invest in gentle and effective skin care. I exfoliate gently in the morning and do a 3-5 min face oil and gua sha routine on my face and neck. Then I dab on eye serum. At night its a gentle cleanse, serum, eye cream, another face/neck massage and extra cream if my skin is thirsty. I use a mask 2-3 times a week for extra care.
  9. Invest in a few all star makeup products and use them subtly. I like Westman Atelier foundation stick, Victoria Beckham eye liner, and Chantecaille Lipsticks. I also like to comb my brows and pat on an organic fragrance balm. Simple but elevating routines are easier to keep up over time.
  10. Be active in your day. Walk across the house rather than yelling for a family member, take the stairs, clean and beautify your space, cook something from scratch most meals, take walks to connect rather than sitting to eat/drink, and prioritize your sex life. Being active is key. That said, I incorporate “exercise” before breakfast and again before dinner most days. It varies from 20 -60 minutes and I flow with what my body needs intensity wise. Have a good workout plan but be flexible so that you don’t get in an “all or nothing” state. A gentle stroll or yoga on the floor still counts, and will eventually get you closer to more intense forms of exercise. Consistency creates long term results.
 

Skincare is a sensuous and rewarding aspect of self care. I hope you found a few new ways to pamper yourself. If you are interested in more tips on aging well check out my new course here.

 
Wishing you the pleasures of “être bien dans sa peau”/to feel good in one’s own skin.
 

Cheering you on,
Rachel

 

Self Discipline, Burnout, & Balance

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “When we notice a momentum strongly pulling us towards one way of being, we can be self aware enough to question that momentum and query if another approach would better suit us. “

 

Discipline is the key to freedom. Until it’s not.….

Being disciplined is the key to achieving our dreams, caring for our health, our belongings, and our schedule. Without discipline we are left to our whims and, we all know that whims don’t steer the ship to the shore of our best lives. Discipline is the key to freedom. Until it’s not.

There can come a point we are about to bust!

We have been super scheduled, food aware, exercise consistent, and budget adhering. Gradually, or all of the sudden, it feels like life is a slow trudge of obligation and responsible actions. And when we feel our lives loosing their joy, one place to look is at the balance between discipline and intelligent indulgence in our life.

What is intelligent indulgence you may ask? Intelligent indulgence doesn’t send the scale up 5lb this week because we go on a carb bender. It doesn’t mean telling off that person you have been judiciously bitting your tongue and accessing your diplomacy with. Intelligent indulgence feels good in the moment and the next day. It means choosing to bend rather than break when you feel burnout. Some of my favorite ways include: cancelling the days responsibilities and doing whatever I want (once a month at least), savoring a high quality treat, getting extra sleep, skipping my HIIT workout and taking a slow stroll in nature, organizing or re-arranging an area of my home, reading something I love, looking through old journals/scrapbooks, and baking something delicious, staying up later than usual to enjoy something special.

What’s on your list?

Life is about balance and becoming well rounded. If we spend years developing our discipline it serves us greatly….to a point. And then it becomes a limiting factor in our growth. At some point, we have to say “Well done, that box has been checked. I can create and execute a plan till kingdom come and I am feeling dry and burned out.” At that point (or hopefully before you feel on the brink of burnout), you have the challenge of rounding out your other half and following your passions, indulging, and being spontaneous. You can always keep your frame work of discipline, but now is the time to put some meat on those bones. It’s time to fill out your form with trusting the foundation.

Those that are lead by their passion and feelings have the other challenge: to buckle down and commit and see things through. They need to create a plan, follow it on the days they don’t feel motivated even a little bit, and do the work. Whims don’t build dreams or solid relationships. Commitment does. Finding and maintaining your “why” and then acting in accordance with it is the key to rising up the tides of shifting motivation and alternating focus. You build lasting results with constant actions over time.

So, which of these is most important?

The answer is: the one you least follow. We all have tendencies to one or the other. Maturity is about becoming well rounded. If we veer one way, we need to develop traction in the balancing category. Ideally, we have a whole menu of ways of being to draw from. Most people develop and stay with one or two. Those who put the effort into creating a menu of approaches are those with the most freedom of expression and the ability to create a variety of things.

When we notice a momentum strongly pulling us towards one way of being, we can be self aware enough to question that momentum and query if another approach would better suit us. Another way to tell what flavor to draw from is burnout (if we have been too structured) and stalling out (if we have been too laissez-faire). We can read our moods, our personal momentum, and our results and try acting from a different “fuel” if you will.

Freedom not to stay the same, be the same, and get the same results is found in this self awareness. After many years of being highly disciplined, I came to the point that it was no longer serving me. I craved spontaneity, prioritizing play BEFORE work instead of after, and enjoying life felt necessary on a level that was unprecedented. But, I found that balancing my disciplines with more pleasure, relaxation, and spontaneity was actually the key to preserving my discipline. We cannot draw from a well indefinitely. To balance my discipline was to replenish my well.

Balance is key in life and we cannot fully mature without developing opposing and complimentary abilities. It’s scary and liberating to cross over to the less familiar side of the river and trust that we won’t loose the part of ourself that we know best and trust best. At some point, we can recognize that if we are to become a woman we must abandoned our habitual way of being for a holistic way of being. And in that brave balancing we become whole.

Cheering you on,
Rachel

 

The Quest for Alone Time

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “I have chosen to see my motherhood as a cornerstone of my quality of life not a threat to it.”

 

 

On the quest for alone time as a mom….

Alone time is really important to me. Even before quarantine and the increased extra time at home together, I was homeschooling and running command central with my husband’s help for a large family of boys and young men. But a girl needs a little peace and quiet after all. This time alone has, by necessity, become a daily staple of my growth and self care.

I usually have at least an hour of personal time at the beginning of the day where I set my compass, listen to and then direct my mind, meditate, pray, journal, workout, or read. My kids have a plan for their entire day and especially this early time. They know not to interrupt me. And they know what to interrupt me for.

this might work for you

So I thought I would share my approach – what works for us. Maybe it will help you carve out both space and establish flexible boundaries resulting in more “you” time. You’re worth it!

  • I look to what will likely come up during that time of day (permission for various foods, drinks, activities, the kids’ patterns of who wants to do what/when/where and the likely effects. I then troubleshoot answers ahead of time to those questions and think through guidelines to common challenges that may arise. This plan I communicate with them early and often – usually it is also written!
  • Next I let them know I am available for safety issues or for conflicts heading towards a bigger problem. I am not available for phone calls, questions about toys, locating that missing sock, etc. But they are clear that if a significant problem arises, I would rather be interrupted than have unnecessary drama that is out of their ability to handle.
  • Finally, I sometimes check in with them before I go into “Monk Mode” and let them know I won’t be readily available for a specific time span and ask if there is anything unusual we need to plan for to make it a good and peaceful time for them, too.

My kids are awesome about respecting and honoring that time because it has become normal to do so. Kids rise to our level of expectation and it’s also true that about 1/3 of the time, I need to exit “Monk Mode” and help out in some way.

just this morning…

Just this morning that happened and the kids needed me to help de-escalate an argument that was building. They apologized and my reply was, “Thank you for helping protect this time for me! And, me being part of the solution for you isn’t taking away from my spiritual practice. It is the heart of my practice.”

I helped them work things out and then went back into my cave. The thing is, I have been in the situation many times where I just sat down for a minute or two, or finally entered a deeply still place inside when I heard things getting rocky outside my door. I have felt the frustration and disappointment of not being able to enjoy and continue in what I so deeply desired to experience. The irony of becoming quickly irritated from my spiritual repose has been a source of self-deprecating humor more than once!

CONSCIOUS MOTHERHOOD

But, I have chosen to see my motherhood as a cornerstone of my quality of life not a threat to it. In this modern world where kids are often seen as an inconvenience and parenthood is perceived as the end of peace and quality of life, I want to say this: intentional parenting takes more time on the front end but gives you infinitely more peace in the long run. Remember we will relate to our kids in their adulthood for at least twice as long as we related to them as children. We have to build for the future and if we do, it’s better now and unthinkably rewarding then.

The desire to escape the pain of life only dramatizes the reasons we need to escape it. There is no escape. We can ignore unresolved issues of all kinds, but solutions only come by honestly assessing what’s not working, making a well-considered plan, and following through one small step at a time.

Of course it’s inconvenient and challenging and we may bemoan that it’s even happening. But if we stick with it, what we create is empowering and fills our world with beauty, value, connection, and priceless rewards.

PROGRESS BEATS PERFECTION

My commitment to investing in and refining my life is a daily discipline. Sometimes I succeed in having my hour of blissful home retreat and sometimes I am interrupted several times to deal with things that frustrate me and feel upsetting. Either way I am on track.

We never get it perfect… and perfect isn’t even the goal. We want to become more mature, more versatile, more flexible and skilled in functioning in every area. Which brings me back to my morning quiet time…I aim for a chunk of uninterrupted time, and if that doesn’t happen, I let the interruption be integrated as a “moving meditation,” a life meditation if you will. Isn’t that the point anyways? To embrace whatever we experience and integrate it into our spiritual practice? It is for me. My life is my practice. And I do my best to embrace it all.

Cheering you on,
Rachel

 

Think Mist, Not Flood

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “When we are well hydrated, we look and feel our best.”

 

 

Benefits of Hydration

We often hear how important it is to stay hydrated. And it’s true! When we are well hydrated, we look and feel our best. It’s an easy and inexpensive way to help improve your health on every level. Let’s take a moment to explore some of the benefits of drinking enough water:

Benefits of Hydration

You will have more energy – Dehydration will sap you of energy quickly!

You will have more muscular strength – Fluid loss in excess of 5% of body weight can decrease the capacity for work by about 30%.

You will have more luminous skin – Water removes waste materials keeping your skin clearer and more supple

You will have less water retention – Ironically, dehydration puts your body in water storage mode and proper hydration lets it know you will be giving it what it needs so it doesn’t need to stockpile fluid!

You will experience better elimination – Releasing what no longer serves you with ease:)

You will better regulate your appetite – So often people eat when they are actually thirsty rather than hungry.

How much do I really need to drink?

We need to drink 1/2 our body weight in ounces. So, a 140 lb person needs at least 70oz each day. If you live in a dry climate, use a sauna, sweat in the heat or from a workout…you will need to drink even more to be properly hydrated.

Think Mist, Not Flood

Our body metabolizes water best when we take sips (and hold the water in the mouth for a few moments before swallowing it). When we gulp down water it’s more likely to pass through the digestive system than absorb into the system as a whole. So we should sip all day long rather then down a liter a few times a day.

What About Mealtimes?

We also want to avoid drinking more than 4-6oz with a meal. Drinking a lot of liquid with meals can dilute digestive juices. This can make digestion less efficient and contribute to bloat and poor absorption. So, pause your liquids 20-30 min before and 20-30 min after a meal (except for a small amount as needed with a meal).

My favorite hydration habits

I aim for 3 liters (100 oz) of water a day! Living in a dry climate, using a sauna regularly, and exercising daily increase my need for water. I love to vary how I enjoy my hydration.

Making all this hydration more varied & interesting

In the morning, I like to mix in special things, leaving 30 minutes between each to let them work their magic before taking in another special addition. It looks something like this:

Upon Waking;
6am-16 oz room temperature water
6:30- 8 oz water + Colostrum 1 T. Powder
7am 8 oz. water+ Welleco Greens Super Elixir (2 tsp.)

Between breakfast and lunch
-10 oz water
-10 oz+ HUM vitamin C & Collagen tablet
-10 oz water + juice of 1/2 lemon

Between lunch and dinner

-16 oz plain water
-8 oz plain water + 2 tsp Welleco Greens Super Elixir

After dinner and before bed
-8 oz plain water
-8 oz herbal tea

This is what works for me….I hope it helps you find what works for you!

Cheering you on,
Rachel

 

Creating a Life of Luxurious Simplicity

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “If we have high standards for our pleasures and make a habit of savoring those simple pleasures, we create islands of delight in our day.”

 

Key Points

  • Align our living with our spiritual values
  • Create a simplified life that reflects beauty in every area
  • Create islands of delight in your day

 

Creating a LIfe of Luxurious simplicity

One of the things that we learn in waves as time passes, is how much influence we really have over shaping the speed, quality, and experiences of our lives. We all become accustomed to a way of living and it can feel like the only way life can be for us.

And yet, we habitually create. So how do we choose to upgrade the baseline of our life experience? How do we create a life that feels simpler and more full of delight? This is one of my favorite lessons to keep learning. I love continually exploring what I can unlearn and what I can upgrade in my patterns to keep creating a life that fits better and better. I call this living with Luxurious Simplicity. Let me share some of my favorite ways to upgrade with you…

Let’s do some Q & A on the subject!

Question: Hey Rachel, what’s the philosophy behind your new course Living with Luxurious Simplicity?

My Answer: For me, it means spending the resources of (energy, time, and money) in ways that align with our spiritual values, our aesthetic preferences, and meet our practical needs.

Question: Rachel, how can we spend our time and money with more awareness and intention?

My Answer: Living with luxurious simplicity is about considering what makes you feel delighted and fulfilled and continually refining your ability to prune and plant so that your life is spent in focused and fulfilling alignment with what you love.

Question: What can we do daily to upgrade our quality of life?

My Answer: Upgrading our quality of life is about holding out for high quality and enjoying the moments. If we have high standards for our pleasures like Valrhona Chocolate  and make a habit of savoring those simple pleasures, we create islands of delight in our day. Well considered and truly savored pleasures elevate our experience of life tremendously.

Question: Rachel, what are some of your favorite little luxuries to buy?

My Answer: I love WelleCo’s green powder! It tastes delicious (especially compared to other green powders) and measurably moves my ph more alkaline with each serving. Red Flower’s Ohana Bamboo Body Scrub  is the most extraordinary skin softener and absolutely addictive. I also love making a superfood latte tea with  Teeccino Hazelnut flavor and Laird Superfood Creamer plus an adaptogenic blend from Longevity Power. This drink is amazing any time of day and a nice dessert substitute. It also tastes delicious over ice in the warm months. You can mix it up with Teecino’s flavors and the supplements you add.

Click Here for the recipe

Question: Rachel what are a few luxurious ways to spend your time?

My Answer: After raising 6 children through their younger years, I treasure a good night’s sleep immensely! I love going to bed in the 9 o’clock hour and letting my body wake up on her own, fully rested. Another favorite is to sit and listen to the wind in the trees. Where I live, the sound changes by the month as the texture of the Aspen leaves change, and it’s like living in an enormous orchestra of wind instruments…the sound of the wind circling the expanse of many thousands of trees is magical. Lastly, I love all my skincare rituals. I so enjoy taking care of my skin! It feels nurturing and luxurious to use my favorite products and massage techniques.

Well friends, I hope some of my answers to these questions might help you find some inspiration and a few new things to enjoy in your life this week. Wishing you a week of luxurious simplicity and love!

 

Cheering you on,
Rachel Beck

 Please check out my new online course: 

Living With Luxurious Simplicity

 

Superfood Latte Recipe

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 

 

Rachel’s

Superfood Latte

Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
3 T. Laird Superfood Creamer
2 T. Coconut sugar
1.5 T. Teeccino Hazelnut tea grounds
1 tsp. superfood supplements (Maca, Reishi, Calcium, He Shou Wu)

Boil the water and remove it from the heat. Add the Teeccino grounds, cover, and let sit 5 min. Strain the tea and discard (or save for one more use) the Teeccino grounds. Add this and all the remaining ingredients into a blender and blend on low until combined. Enjoy hot or cold. It saves well for several days in the fridge…but good luck on it lasting more than a few hours. It makes the house smell so good! This drink tastes delicious with a few squares of dark chocolate:)

 Please check out my new online course: 

Living With Luxurious Simplicity

 

Thriving Together Pt2

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with. We need to keep referring to our basic habits of health and virtue more than ever when we are under pressure.”

 

Key Points

  •  Creating and directing your energy
  • Creating signature virtues in your family
  • Navigating tough times with grace as a family

 

Thriving Together pt2 Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Let’s talk about energy. When you have abundant energy, you have the ability to be your best self, to skillfully respond to whatever happens in your life, and to live artfully. When we are exhausted we cannot live well. We perceive events to be more stressful and we act out rather than act wisely. Without a doubt, regenerating, directing, and protecting our energy is one of the most important things we can do for a better life.

 

I. Creating and directing your energy: How do you create energy? There are two ways 1) general health habits and 2) individual pursuits that fill you with delight. Importantly, we all need abundant and restful sleep (7-10 hrs). You cannot perceive how sleep deprived you are if you are living on borrowed energy from caffeine and sugar. You will know you are resting enough when you wake up before your alarm, feeling refreshed. This make take months of going to bed earlier but it’s so worth it. Sleep is the foundation of wellness.

When we are tired we crave simple carbohydrates, have lowered metabolic rates, reduced immunity, accelerated aging, reduced energy for exercise, poor decision making/impulse control, and many more deleterious effects. While nutrition, exercise, spiritual practices, and lifestyle habits are all super important…sleep is the queen. Start with trimming your schedule until you create the time to sleep enough regularly. Your willpower and clarity for all the other healthy habits will be fed by your rested reservoir of energy. If you want to be your best self, a super present mom, and enjoy your life it all will be fueled by the level of energy you have. And you have the opportunity to create high quality fuel for your life to run on.

 

When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with.

II. Creating signature virtues in your family: What would you like your family to be known for? Identifying and investing in these qualities is key to creating a family dynamic you love and that represents your values. Start by making a list of qualities that you want to embody, you want your children to embody, and the dynamics of your home you would love to be characteristic of how you live together. Then group related words/qualities. Next, circle the word that most resonates with your heart…that makes it sing and swell with longing.

 

Gather 3 or 4 of the words you most resonate with and write out what those words mean in the context of your ideal family life. For example, if you wrote the words happy, fun, harmonious, and teamwork down, then circled harmonious, you might write: “we are harmonious with each other by paying attention to ourselves as individuals and the dynamics of our interactions. We take the time to be aware and to synergize so that we can enjoy life and support each other with grace.”

 

When you have identified your core qualities, and written how they look in day to day life, then its time to share them with your family and post them somewhere you can all see them. The crucial follow up is to review your signature virtues often and create habits that re enforce those qualities and keep you consciously aligning your choices with your aspirational values.

 

III. Navigating tough times with grace as a family: When we go through challenging times, our energy and our signature virtues are the fuel we run on and the oars we row with. We need to keep referring to our basic habits of health and virtue more than ever when we are under pressure. Sometimes our circumstances will change dramatically but our ability to sink or swim is contingent on our ability to keep our compass under pressure and not become directionless. Tough times make us stronger if we reconnect and deepen our commitment to our roots during the storm. One of the secrets of a life well lived is the ability to keep clarity of purpose when things are unmoored. Modeling this for our children is the best way to prepare them for solid living as they become adults.

 
Thriving Together is a course about understanding your unique gifts and priorities as a woman and then joining those with your family’s needs and contributions to the world. As you learn to identify both, you then consciously re-create your life to align harmoniously with them. I hope you will invest in yourself and your family life with greater enthusiasm and clarity with the insights I have shared. If you choose to invest in upleveling your personal and family life with my new audio course Thriving Together, I have a $15 discount to email subscribers running through July 31st, 2020 with code SUBSCRIBER15. 
 
Cheering you on,
Rachel Beck
 

Please check out my new online course:

Thriving Together – Click Here

 

Thriving Together Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “We need to choose who we want to be, how we want to parent, and the way our family life feels. This is a creative endeavor, a logistical negotiation, and a spiritual expression of our highest values.”

 

Key Points

  •   Build on Your Natural Strengths
  • Creating Your Unique Family Rhythm
  • The Beauty of Less

 

Thriving Together Caring For Yourself and Your Family

Mothers have such a central role in creating the environment of their home. This includes the emotional environment, the relational patterns, and the speed of life the family adopts. We are the gatekeepers on so many levels, deciding who and what gets to influence our sanctuary. I am often asked how I stay vibrant and raise sons who have bright eyes and are kind and present.

I have taken the time (and love!) to carefully note my process for this over the past 22 years and I am so excited to share it with you. Inspiring you and providing practical tools that will truly upgrade your health, your parenting, and your life is what I am passionate about. It’s up to us to create our life on purpose.

We need to choose who we want to be, how we want to parent, and the way our family life feels. This is a creative endeavor, a logistical negotiation, and a spiritual expression of our highest values. Here is a taste of the feast I have prepared for you.

Rather than being run down and exasperated, we can be vibrant in body and spirit creating a life we love with those we love.

Build on Your Natural Strengths– Don’t try to be a copy of another mother you admire. While it can be helpful to study her mindset, borrow her “tools,” and be inspired… you must integrate these into your natural strengths. If you are a walking party, let your home be the hub of the neighborhood.

If you are a planner, let your home radiate security with the flow of the familiar. Be YOU in your parenting style. At the same time, be willing to expand and grow in ways that will harmonize with your family’s needs right now. Find the sweet spot that celebrates and utilizes your best qualities and fuels growth in areas that will round you out as a person.

Shunryu Suzuki — “Each of you is perfect the way you are … and you can use a little improvement.”

Creating Your Unique Family Rhythm – Living in rhythm, a carefully chosen rhythm, is one of the joys of a life well lived. Too often, we live according to the rhythms we inherited, or are socially reinforced, or simply by responding to need after need and event after event. A life well lived for you as a parent, and for your family, is rooted in a consciously chosen rhythm. You need repeating themes, a baseline that carries through, time for individual creative solos, and the ability to rest.

Creating intervals of quiet and replenishment is the only way to create little humans capable of being still, who can listen and observe what is going on inside them and in those around them. In creating your family rhythm, you are intentionally carving out times to rest and strategize and you are creating times to create and interact. Both are essential.

Neither are possible to do effectively while being carried by others expectations or our own unconscious momentum. Regularly stepping outside the milieu is essential to thriving as a woman and as a mother.

The Beauty of Less – Most of us are over scheduled and over stimulated. When we commit (and continually recommit!) to simplifying and building our life around our deepest values, we create more beauty and a deeper capacity to enjoy our lives. We can simplify our environment by removing the accumulations of clothes, paperwork, and stuff.

We can simplify our schedule by putting our top 3-4 commitments into our schedules and leaving the secondary commitments to find (or not find) a spot after we have invested in our top priorities. We can find time for plenty of sleep, for 1-2 hours of self care, work, and life logistics if we don’t accidentally spend 4-8 hours looking at our phones/tv’s/computers.

The less we have/ do/ say…the more potent and intentional those choices are.

Next week, I will be offering part 2 in this series on “Thriving Together.” If you want to dive more into the topic (and summer is the perfect time to do this!)…

Please check out my new online course:

Thriving Together – Click Here

Cheering you on,

Rachel

P.S. I am offering an exclusive $15 off the price of the course to my email subscribers through July 31st, 2020. Just enter code SUBSCRIBER15 at checkout.

 

All That You Can’t Leave Behind….

Posted on by RachelBeckWellness

 “It is only by the willingness to set aside who you thought you were and could be that you can truly discover who you are and can become.”

 

Key Points

  • Be Willing to be Wrong
  • Be Curious
  • Think for Yourself
  • Love Your SELF More Than Your Self
  • The Durability of the Indestructible

 

All That You can’t leave behind….

All that you can’t leave behind—why it’s so hard to change and how you can finally break free

One of the most important truths of life we all come face to face with is that change is both essential and darn near impossible at times. Why is it so hard to shift our patterns, to finally break free of how we are being…even when we know it’s needed and our old habits are costing us? What if you could finally understand what is holding you back and cut the cords that seem to tie you to that pattern of being?

1. Losing everything….

Jesus taught that it was easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Setting aside the crowd dispersing nature of this statement, let’s discuss what this riddle actually means and how it can be the key to our freedom.

2. Being wrong….

Without an annihilate of ego/self we cannot enter into the “kingdom of heaven” or freedom or a new way of being. We have to stop defending our bad behavior, emotional immaturity, and lack of skill. We have to get good at taking responsibility rather then spreading blame. We have to be willing to unknown everything we feel is most certainly true and be open to the TRUTH.

3. Being curious…

Mark Twain “What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so”

Having decided we don’t have to defend our beliefs, we can now be curious about what might be a more accurate belief or skillful approach.  Sometimes we foolishly attach beliefs to our identity and make any challenge to those beliefs a challenge to us on a core level. Without curiosity, there is no significant growth. If we are open to the unknown, we can discover important, yet once heretical truths like 1) the earth is round 2) leaches aren’t good for sick people and 3) all people deserve the same (high level) of respect and justice. Large groups of people have been wrong about crucial issues over and over in history. Right now there are beliefs people hold dearly as sacrosanct fact that will be pitied for their ignorance and small mindedness by those to come.

4. Thinking for yourself….

Are you willing to own your own opinion rather than be told what you should think? In every area? We all have areas we feel open minded in but others we rope off. The truth is not fragile. We don’t need to defend it. It has stood the test of time and can handle your tests. But superstition, group think, and lazy opinions are held dearly and fiercely protected. Are you willing to look like a fool to some in order to align with what you discover the Truth is? Do you value your self respect more than the fickle approval/rejection of strangers?

5. Loving your SELF more than yourself….

We can come to the point in our journey where we are no longer protecting ourselves by insisting we are right. We can hold our opinions more loosely and be open to new facts and points of view. The TRUTH is sturdy and can handle a legitimate “testing” but group-think becomes indignant and condescending if it is scrutinized. Our true Self has nothing to protect or defend. It is capable of being wrong and learning. Our ego self cannot be wrong because it feels inherently unlovable and therefore has to do an elaborate song and dance to distract or an aggressive counter attack to defend its antics.

Cultivating the Willingness to Dissolve

So, how can a camel fit through the eye of a needle? Only by dissolving and passing through as nothing to the other side. That’s the only way we can enter the Kingdom of Heaven or a deeply meaningful life here on earth for that matter! U2’s song,  “Walk on” tells us that the “only thing that you can’t bring is —all that you can’t leave behind.” That lyric makes me laugh and cry at the same time! If we can’t leave it behind it is the clearest indication that it will not fit through the eye of the needle.

The Durability of the Indestructible

So, what comes out on the other side of the needle is…different. It is only by the willingness to set aside who you thought you were and could be that you can truly discover who you are and can become. The courage to let it all go and make the leap into nothingness is the only way to preserve ourselves. What a conundrum! It’s darn near impossible and that’s why so few people do it. It is the ultimate miracle….the multiplication of a substance through it’s surrender to the void. It’s how we are initiated into manhood and womanhood.

It is the biggest, scariest leap there is to take. It takes tremendous faith. Those who make a practice of coming up to this edge and then courageously dissolving, not knowing anything about what the other side looks like…not making or getting any guarantees….they are the ones who live glorious lives. I like to say that a good life consists of many deaths. We have to be willing to let go of all we have known ourselves to be, demanded of our lives, and expected to be true in the world if we are ever going to be free to see, live, and align with Truth. Honestly, it’s the only way to really live, everything else is just posturing and pretending.

We are all capable of so much more. Let’s step up to the challenge wherever it is showing up in our lives right now and go through the process of being able to loose it all so we can gain what is indestructible.

Love and Light,
Rachel