“When we notice a momentum strongly pulling us towards one way of being, we can be self aware enough to question that momentum and query if another approach would better suit us. “
Discipline is the key to freedom. Until it’s not.….
Being disciplined is the key to achieving our dreams, caring for our health, our belongings, and our schedule. Without discipline we are left to our whims and, we all know that whims don’t steer the ship to the shore of our best lives. Discipline is the key to freedom. Until it’s not.
There can come a point we are about to bust!
We have been super scheduled, food aware, exercise consistent, and budget adhering. Gradually, or all of the sudden, it feels like life is a slow trudge of obligation and responsible actions. And when we feel our lives loosing their joy, one place to look is at the balance between discipline and intelligent indulgence in our life.
What is intelligent indulgence you may ask? Intelligent indulgence doesn’t send the scale up 5lb this week because we go on a carb bender. It doesn’t mean telling off that person you have been judiciously bitting your tongue and accessing your diplomacy with. Intelligent indulgence feels good in the moment and the next day. It means choosing to bend rather than break when you feel burnout. Some of my favorite ways include: cancelling the days responsibilities and doing whatever I want (once a month at least), savoring a high quality treat, getting extra sleep, skipping my HIIT workout and taking a slow stroll in nature, organizing or re-arranging an area of my home, reading something I love, looking through old journals/scrapbooks, and baking something delicious, staying up later than usual to enjoy something special.
What’s on your list?
Life is about balance and becoming well rounded. If we spend years developing our discipline it serves us greatly….to a point. And then it becomes a limiting factor in our growth. At some point, we have to say “Well done, that box has been checked. I can create and execute a plan till kingdom come and I am feeling dry and burned out.” At that point (or hopefully before you feel on the brink of burnout), you have the challenge of rounding out your other half and following your passions, indulging, and being spontaneous. You can always keep your frame work of discipline, but now is the time to put some meat on those bones. It’s time to fill out your form with trusting the foundation.
Those that are lead by their passion and feelings have the other challenge: to buckle down and commit and see things through. They need to create a plan, follow it on the days they don’t feel motivated even a little bit, and do the work. Whims don’t build dreams or solid relationships. Commitment does. Finding and maintaining your “why” and then acting in accordance with it is the key to rising up the tides of shifting motivation and alternating focus. You build lasting results with constant actions over time.
So, which of these is most important?
The answer is: the one you least follow. We all have tendencies to one or the other. Maturity is about becoming well rounded. If we veer one way, we need to develop traction in the balancing category. Ideally, we have a whole menu of ways of being to draw from. Most people develop and stay with one or two. Those who put the effort into creating a menu of approaches are those with the most freedom of expression and the ability to create a variety of things.
When we notice a momentum strongly pulling us towards one way of being, we can be self aware enough to question that momentum and query if another approach would better suit us. Another way to tell what flavor to draw from is burnout (if we have been too structured) and stalling out (if we have been too laissez-faire). We can read our moods, our personal momentum, and our results and try acting from a different “fuel” if you will.
Freedom not to stay the same, be the same, and get the same results is found in this self awareness. After many years of being highly disciplined, I came to the point that it was no longer serving me. I craved spontaneity, prioritizing play BEFORE work instead of after, and enjoying life felt necessary on a level that was unprecedented. But, I found that balancing my disciplines with more pleasure, relaxation, and spontaneity was actually the key to preserving my discipline. We cannot draw from a well indefinitely. To balance my discipline was to replenish my well.
Balance is key in life and we cannot fully mature without developing opposing and complimentary abilities. It’s scary and liberating to cross over to the less familiar side of the river and trust that we won’t loose the part of ourself that we know best and trust best. At some point, we can recognize that if we are to become a woman we must abandoned our habitual way of being for a holistic way of being. And in that brave balancing we become whole.
Cheering you on,
Rachel